


Wasted Love

by Nim777



Category: bts
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dancer Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:00:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 38
Words: 40,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21681343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nim777/pseuds/Nim777
Summary: "Why not give this a chance?" He rasps.His voice holds all the sadness and anger that he is feeling, and the pressure of it leaves him nearly mute. But then, as he continues to speak, his voice becomes louder, harsher, and the strain of it breaks the entire dam."We'd be good for each other, " he chokes. "You know that I'd be good to you. I could make you happy."I stiffen, suddenly wishing that I were anywhere but here. There are so many things that I'm not ready to say, too many things to regret if things go sour."I've already wasted all of my love on someone else, " I whisper, half defiant and half ironic sorrow."There's no such thing as wasted love, " he growls.
Relationships: Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

PROLOGUE:

Wincing as I rub my feet gingerly, I think back on this month's performance. 

"It's no use, " I groan inwardly. "No matter how much I practice I just can't seem to get it right."

The studio floor is cold against my skin, my thin tights offering little to no protection at all. The temperature's frigid bite leaves me feeling mildly uncomfortable, especially since my skin is always more heated after a practice session. 

"At this rate, I'll never get the main role."

I sigh, reaching for my nearby bottle of water. Ever since that one incident, I've made sure to keep a bottle of water on hand at all times. Just thinking about it sends vague memories to the surface of my mind, and I tamp them back down, completely unwilling to deal with it right now. Or ever, for that matter.

I really can't afford for such a thing to happen again. While my mother and father have been extremely understanding of my choices, they've also made it crystal clear.

If I can't succeed here, in this world of my choosing, I'll be forced to keep my end of the bargain. In exchange for three years worth of rental assistance from my parents, I promised to return to school in the event that I don't manage to make my dreams a reality. And my second year is already fast approaching its end.

"Well, " I tell myself. "Nothing for it but to keep going."

After taking a quick swig of water and replacing its cap meticulously, I stand. These steps aren't going to learn themselves after all.

When I am gliding across the studio gracefully... That's when I feel truly alive. Step, then twirl, step, then leap. Every breath dedicated to the singular goal of not just hearing the music, but feeling it as well. To an outsider, I'd imagine that I probably appear to be the epitome of grace in this moment, but they'd be horribly wrong.

Every twist of my body, every leap and twirl is off. Even if only by a little bit. Unfortunately, I am required to be utter perfection if I am to achieve my goals and the reminder of it breaks my focus.

Once more I stumble, grumbling frustratingly to myself as a result. I collapse to the ground with a huff, frustrated and tired.

Overhead, the clock strikes twelve, alerting me to the fact that I have now spent nearly six hours trying to perfect a dance that seems to be utterly beyond my capabilities. Even so, I can't stop now.

My feet are battered, calloused and yet still throbbing angrily. And my back groans in protest as I pick myself up and off the floor to continue practicing my grueling routine. 

But even so, how can I quit for the evening before I at least get it right once?

However, luck, it would seem, isn't on my side today.

I am interrupted, mid glissade, by the studio owner. Park Jimin is a long time friend and confidante, but lately I have no patience for his meddling ways. 

Just last week he'd attempted to set me up on a blind date with one of his buddies, and when I'd adamantly refused, he began dragging the poor guy to the studio left and right. Hoseok, I think that's what his name was, actually happens to be with Jimin now as well. 

"Remind me to give Jimin an earful later, " I think to myself. 

Oh, I know that he means well. Day after day I borrow his studio, working my body to the bone and stressing myself out until I become a veritable bundle of raw nerves. He sees that. I think that, as my best friend, it worries him and I honestly can't blame him. 

I'd feel the same if the roles were reversed after all.

"Yo! Time to pack it up!" Jimin shouts, eyes twinkling mischievously. "Dinner, my treat!"


	2. CHAPTER ONE

The air is thick with the smell of sizzling meat and exotic spices. From where I sit upon my stool I can see the chef hard at work, flipping my noddles again and again as if he's done it a million times. And he probably has. This street-side noodle shop is probably my favorite place in the whole city to eat, and I come here so often that even the owner's wife knows me by name. 

Often, the two of them will pack up scraps and extras, and demand that I take it home for later.

"You too skinny," his wife tells me every time. "No one feeding you. We feed you, okay? You take this home and eat later."

And with bony, shriveled fingers she always pushes the packaged food into my hands, never with a care for money or thanks. But her soft, age worn hands have a way of telling you everything you need to know. She cares, and that's why she does it.

It's just fact. Mr. and Mrs. Fuyumi are good people. Even their son, who does all of the actual cooking, is a decent guy. When I'd arrived in the big apple without a single idea as to what I was truly getting into, he'd been a huge help. I suppose his parents taught him to be kind to others, and maybe that's why he helped me all those months ago. Or maybe it's just Yuuki's nature. Regardless, Yuuki has become a fast friend and an able confident. 

If only he wasn't a huge pervert.

And Jimin, well, he's not much better. Get the two together and all conversation becomes a thing of nightmares. It's almost as if they entirely forget my presence, even while using me as a prop for their awful and indecent sense of humor. 

Which is why I keep side eying Jimin. Once the food is done Yuuki always sits down with us, and I just know that the two of them are going to embarrass me. Right in front of the new guy, no less. 

I study him for a moment, wondering how he'll take the guys' behavior. He's been chattering excitedly the whole way here, and even now he continues to fire every syllable with rather impressive speed and agility, especially given his rather thick Korean accent. Every now and then Jimin throws out an English word that our guest doesn't understand, causing him to blink owlishly, kohl colored eyelashes fluttering softly against his impressively smooth cheeks. His eyes, which normally appear to be rather emotive, become dull and glossy for a few moments before he shakes his head, ebony hair bouncing back into place almost immediately. 

"In another life he could have been a rapper," I muse.

He seems like a pretty animated fellow too, so maybe he'll be able to keep up with Jimin's antics in the future. It'll probably do Jimin some good to have a new friend, or more accurately, it'll do me some good. It might give Jimin someone else to coddle for a bit, therefore increasing my ability to breathe. If his insistence to hook me up with blind date after blind date persists, I might actually have an aneurysm. 

I know that I'm stressing harder than I should be, and I know that I need to carve out some downtime, but I don't share Jimin's romantic leanings. I swear, that man was created for romance. It's no wonder that his studio is a constant revolving door of women desperate to breathe the same air as him, he's gorgeous. And he knows it too.

Jimin's idea of stress relief is a different body every night, any ideas of true passion fled his system years ago when his first love screwed him over. Literally. She still hovers from time to time. Just out of sight enough that Jimin is able to ignore her, but frequently enough that it is clear she is scoping out her competition. She obviously still wants Jimin, but he's been more than happy to move on.

The night that he'd decided to end things with her he'd been awful close to doing something foolish and terrible. That's actually how we met. It was New Years Eve, and I was hammered and alone, again. My family and I never saw eye to eye on my love for dance, and we'd just had another fight about my choices in regards to my future. Only seconds after I'd stormed out of the family home, I'd received a call from my long time boyfriend stating that he'd knocked up Shelly Ferguson, the local gold digger, and that he was going to marry her.

It really had not been my night.

I'd stepped onto the balcony of the hotel room I'd rented for the night, eager for fresh air after a full bottle of Tequila and a good cry, only to find a man hanging from the balcony above me. That night I sprained my wrist twice trying to pull him back up and onto solid ground. 

To this day he swears that he merely slipped, that he'd been goofing around while equally sluiced, but I know better. I remember the way he cried for hours afterwards, refusing to allow me to leave once I'd escorted him back to his own room. Truly, we'd been strangers. But there was a connection made that night as a result of two hearts mired in the same hurt in the same place and at the same time. 

As a result Jimin has been my best friend for almost two years, and the two of us have been like peas in a pod for the majority of that time. I know that Jimin means well, and I'm sure that Jimin's new friend is a decent guy, but I'm just not on the market. I've never been a one night stand kind of gal. I honestly don't think I ever will be either. And lately, with all the added expectations that my troupe is facing, it just isn't the time to be focusing on anything other than my career.

"Hoseok!" Jimin exclaims, suddenly turning his attention to me despite the warning death glare that I send his way. "Meet Avelyn! She's from Washington, like me."

Jimin's chest puffs up with pride, eyes slightly glossed over by the soju. 

"We're best friends!" He explains, slinging an arm around my neck carelessly. "She's a good girl, even if she did stand you up. Just give her some time, I think the two of you will get along real well!"

I blush in response to his drunken praise and shove him out of my personal space angrily. Clearly Jimin has had more than enough to drink. Trying to haul him home is going to be an absolute nightmare for my already sore and aching body. 

"No more for you," I tell him as I remove the bottle firmly grasped in his hand. "You are way too drunk to be in public right now." 

"Aww!" Jimin exclaims. If he pouts any further his eyes might actually fall out of his sockets, and I know that he knows I'm immune to that. "You're such a spoil sport!"

He turns, fixing his attention upon Hoseok once more. "Isn't she such a spoil sport?" He whines pitifully. "I might have lied. Maybe you two won't get along so well after all!"

But Hoseok beams, brilliantly captivating the both of us with the sheer joy displayed in his smile. "Oh, I don't know," he says warmly, watching for my reaction with suddenly mischievous eyes. 

For a moment he worries his own bottom lip gently between his dramatically white teeth. And then, after leaning forward just ever so slightly, he croons.

"After all, I live for a good challenge."


	3. CHAPTER TWO

" I really think you should give Hobi a chance!" Jimin slurs, completely oblivious to how much I am struggling just to haul his heavy self home. 

"Who's Hobi? I thought you were dead set on getting me to date that Hoseok guy?" I ask, more for the sake of keeping him awake than anything else. 

"Same guy!" He hiccups loudly, pumping his fist into the air excitedly. "It's his new nickname, I thought it up myself!"

I groan, his movements causing his weight to increase.

"Has anyone ever told you how heavy you are?" I wheeze, doing my best not to bow beneath his added weight. 

My knees shake for a split moment, threatening to buckle against the abuse I am putting my body through.

"Don't look at me like that!" I shout. I may not be able to see his face, but I know he's giving me a funky glare. "You are really heavy!"

By this point, I can no longer feel my fingers. They've gone numb, tight and rigid because of the firm grip I have kept on him. I've given my best, but I don't think we're going to make it to the apartment. 

The apartment that Jimin and I share, along with a few other roommates, is still easily six blocks away, and I don't even want to try to shove Jimin in and out of a taxi. Even if I did it is simply way out of budget bounds for the month. Jin would likely flay Jimin and I both alive and I shudder at the thought. The idea brings back some small measure of desperation, and I scurry forth with maximum effort. 

I smack into someone's shoulder blindly, throwing myself and Jimin off balance. I struggle, but ultimately manage to get a firm grip on Jimin once more. Jimin continues to babble unintelligibly in the background, head lolling in an undeniably concerning manner as I shift his weight about. 

The neon signs cast their color-kissed glow upon the very air around us, and I become as red as any of the vibrantly rouged light around when I realize just who it is that I've managed to bump into. 

"Hey! You look like you could use some help!" Hoseok exclaims merrily, chest heaving up and down as if he'd run to get here.

For a moment, I consider it. Accepting his help would definitely get me home faster, and with a considerably less amount of stress on my already overly taxed body.

But, knowing Park Jimin, this is probably exactly what he hoped for. Which, honestly, may be why he's cackling like a madman and swaying like a blade of grass in the wind. 

Any moment now, this asshole is going to blow chunks all over the place and I'm not staying to watch that. But I also refuse to give Jimin his way, on sheer principle if for no other reason.

"Thanks, " I reply frankly, "but no thanks."

The rest of the distance between us and our apartment closes mercifully quickly. I would imagine that a great deal of that has to do with my succinctly put reminder of Jin's wrath.

"Jiminie, " I'd groaned. "You know that Seokjin is going to skin us alive, right? He's going to have Namjoon turn us into one of those hats. You know, the kind his mother wore to his father's funeral? Except, we'll never become a beautiful hat, because Namjoon can't make hats..."

We'd both shuddered then, equally mortified equally by the idea of such an existence, and being subjected to Namjoon's destructive tendencies. But afterward we'd sure scurried away fast.

But now, as we approach the front door, my body groans in protest. And as I shove the door open, simultaneously keeping both mine and Jimin's balance while doing so, I curse at how normal such an occurrence is these days. Seems like every other week I'm dragging a drunk Jimin back home after the end of a long, long day.

"Jeonguk!" I hollar, desperately in need of assistance.

Out of all the men living here, Jeonguk is the strongest. He's actually freakishly strong, and he's also the youngest of us all. He's a punk, but a lovable one.

Said punk turns around, peering at us from the couch. 

The living room is an eclectic collection of all our varied tastes. In the corner we have an old china cabinet filled with Jin's grandmother's plates. I have never met another man who values his grandmother's things as much as Seokjin does, it's pretty basic law around here. Don't touch the plates.

Even Jeonguk and Jimin, mischievous though they may be, don't dare touch the plates. And they were the primary instigators of the prank that lost Yoongi his eyebrows. Forevermore the image of Yoongi, sans eyebrows, with his brows furrowed pointlessly at the mirror is one I can't forget. I'd always considered Yoongi to be a rather attractive fellow. But some things are just not meant to be seen.

Like the time I walked in on our resident brooder. I was eager to deliver Jin's announcement to the effect of dinner being ready, and didn't stop to think about something as trivial as knocking.

Except it's not trivial, and I really wish I had. I wasn't able to look him in the eyes for months, honestly. It was almost weird to think of Yoongi, sitting alone in his room, beating his meat. I mean, the guy's always so quiet. He rarely ever talks. To be honest I'm not sure if any of us knows what he actually does. Though his rent is always paid, he's gone pretty much all day and only comes home late at night, if at all.

Sometimes he comes home with strange bruises too, and we all notice, but so far no one has been brave enough to ask.

But he's a good person. He often leaves small notes, to remind us all to breathe, yet he never signs his name. Everyone knows his handwriting, but he's always adamantly denied everything.

For a while, Jimin had an eating disorder. He'd convinced himself that he was fat, and stopped taking care of himself the way he should have. I think a lot of it had to do with the trauma left behind by Roslyn, the ex, and her actions.

We all tried in vain to get him to eat properly, but Yoongi's notes for Jimin during that time, combined with the random snacks left alongside them, brightened Jimin's life enough to guide him back to us. To this day, he still hasn't let anyone read them. 

Yoongi is also the one who ends up patching up all the things that Namjoon inevitably breaks. Which is absolutely more than is normal if I'm to be sincere.

"What's up?" Jeonguk quips, jumping over the couch with ease.

The grey leather abomination creaks under the sudden increase of weight, but remains standing nonetheless.

"Don't let Jin catch you doing that, " I shudder.

Yoongi's neon signs clash with Jeonguk's gaming posters in the background as he flicks his hair mindlessly.

"Meh, " he says. "Jin can bite me."

I fix him with a pointed glare and he relents, palms extended outward.

"Okay!" He grouses. "Point made! Now what did you need?"

I clear my throat, still dressing him down with my eyes. "Can you get Jimin to his bedroom, " I wheeze, suddenly undignified and still winded by the walk here. "I had to haul his drunk ass all the way here."

"Maybe I don't have to be worried about Jin at all!" Jeonguk exclaims gleefully, bounding down the hallway already with Jimin easily in hand.


	4. CHAPTER THREE

I stretch, leaning back in the tub with a contented grin. I really can't imagine a better day off than this. I shouldn't even be taking a "day off" but Jimin had been so adamant that I needed one.

He'd threatened to tell Jin about my part in Jeonguk's latest prank, and if Jin were to find out...

I shudder. Nope. Whole lot of nope, right there.

"Knock, knock!" Jin sing songs suddenly, rapping his knuckle against the door lightly. "Lunch is ready!"

I jump, water sloshing around the edges of the tub as a result. 

"Be right out!" I reply.

It takes me only seconds to get dried and dressed, fueled as I am with excitement. Jin's cooking is absolutely to die for, and today I'll actually get to eat it at the table, when it's fresh. Honestly, I'm already salivating. The second I'm fully dressed I barrel straight into the hallway, and someone's face. Literally. 

"Careful!" Namjoon yells, wincing as he rubs his forehead. "You can't just go around headbutting people Avelyn!"

"Sorry Joonie!" I reply sincerely. "It won't happen again!"

"What's got you in such a rush anyway?" He asks. And after pushing the bridge of his glasses up with one finger, he continues, "You're not usually so hyperactive."

"Lunch is ready, " I reply excitedly. "And Jin has been in a great mood all day."

Namjoon immediately stands just a fraction taller, and his eyes widen in alarm. 

"What are we still doing here?" He asks. "We better get in there before the others eat it all!"

And it's true.

Everyone in this house has bottomless pits for a stomach, myself included. Maybe it's because, in one way or another, all of us do some pretty physically exhausting thing or another for a living. 

As I've mentioned before, nobody's really sure what Yoongi does, though his rent is always on time. Jin is a small time actor and Jimin, as I've mentioned before, owns and runs his own dance studio.

Jeonguk and Namjoon are both in college, although Joonie is a senior and works part time at the local noodle shop with Jeonguk, while the other is a freshman. Jeonguk is still growing too, and runs track for the university besides. You've never seen someone run until you've seen Jeonguk. I swear that boy is the wind itself, despite his bulky muscles. He is also incredibly agile.

By the time we arrive the food is sure to be gone.

Namjoon and I rush to the kitchen, each of us tripping over one another in hopes of beating the other to it. But, true to our prediction, there is no food to greet us upon arrival. Although, it's not for the reason I was afraid of.

Oh, this is worse.

Seated at the table is none other than Jung Hoseok, and Jimin chatters away with Jin in the kitchen nearby. Jin takes a moment, interrupting Jimin's excited speech in favor of rushing around the island in order to grab Namjoon and wrestle him away.

He drags Namjoon into the kitchen, where he and Jimin chatter away once more at a speed that I find difficult to follow. Poor Joonie's whining is drowned out as their volume increases, and I find myself echoing his sentiment. 

"You're traitors all of you!" I yell at their snickering backs. "You know that right?"

From the kitchen Jin and the others emerge, each carrying a platter laden with something delicious or the other. I've never seen Jin go all out like this before, though I have heard of occasions from Namjoon who's known him the longest, and I gotta say...

Joonie just didn't do Jin justice.

I forget about pretty much everything else, melting in my seat and salivating like a starving beast. When Jimin sets down the last platter the trio excuses themselves, and each scurry away.

And then I remember why I was angry in the first place. 

I rush to the door, eager to tell Jimin off. For once I'm even angry enough to be brave enough to give Jin a piece of my mind as well. It's all good and fine to be concerned about me, but my patience in regards to the persistence with which Jimin is harassing me about this has reached it's final limit.

But the door won't budge, and I curse as I realize just what it is they've accomplished here. I'm locked in. This entire thing was a trap and I fell for it, all Jin had to do was dangle food in front of my face and I'd easily forgotten all about how Namjoon broke the lock just last week. It hasn't been shut in days, not after we'd discovered that it was nearly impossible to open it again.

I growl, suddenly not quite in the mood to partake of the food made by the hands of that traitor, no matter how delicious it smells. 

"What's so bad about having lunch with me anyways?" Hoseok asks suddenly, eyeing me with equal amounts curiosity and appraisal.

It's an odd look to be receiving when I'm so obviously dressed for comfort, I hadn't given any thought to entertaining anyone when I'd chosen to get straight into pajamas for the day. Honestly, I'm not even sure that a pair of sweats and my overly baggy t shirt really qualify as pajamas, but they are comfortable. I was misled into believing today was to be a day of relaxation on my part, but I should have known Jimin would try something like this.

He continues to watch me with fascination, and I simply look the other way. I don't know what it is about this guy, but he puts me on edge. 

"Danger," that's what my brain is telling me.

His charcoal eyes have a way of seeming to look straight through me, and maybe that's what makes me so uneasy. Ultimately Jung Hoseok is a temptation, and one that I can ill afford to lose myself in.

"It isn't you that I have a problem with, " I say finally, glancing at the door menacingly. 

"Oh..." I growl to myself. "Just wait until I get my hands on you Jimin!"


	5. CHAPTER FOUR

"Hey, have you heard the news?" Jeonguk asks, waving his report card before me. 

My heart swells with pride when I notice just how many A's and B's there are.

"Jin says we're all going on vacation to celebrate my 'miraculous' recovery," he continues, beaming brightly. "He was sure I was going to fail."

"Jeonguk," I tell him, rustling his hair affectionately and snickering not so silently, "we were all pretty sure you were going to fail. Hell, I think Jimin was actually excited about it. Said it's high time that the mighty Jeon Jeonguk failed at something."

I laugh, sticking my tongue out as Jeonguk swipes for me with a manufactured look of offense plastered upon his face. 

"I'm gonna get you for that noona!" he yells.

I stop running, turning around to stick my tongue out at him once more, only to have him barrel right into me and knock me straight to the floor. 

"Told you I was gonna get you," he says smugly, sitting upon me as if I were the most comfortable couch in the world. 

"Guk," I wheeze, "you're heavy... Get off!"

"Maybe you should suffer a little more, maybe I'm not satisfied yet." he replies mockingly. "You know what to say noona!" 

I groan, quickly coming to regret egging Jeonguk on.

"Jeonguk!" Jin yells, descending the stair case with alarming speed and a rolling suitcase. "Are you all packed?"

He touches down upon the stairs landing, and turns to find the situation in which I have found myself. He blinks once, twice, a whopping three times, and then simply turns around and bounds back up the stairs luggage still in hand.

Jeonguk looks down and realizes himself the situation that Jin probably thought he walked into and freezes, turning cherry red above me.

"Jeonguk," I groan. "So heavy..."

I'm pretty sure by this point I can actually see that tunnel of light, you know, the one everyone always says not to go into in movies? I could have sworn up and down that it wasn't a real thing, and yet, there it is. 

I can hear the ticking of the grandfather clock in the background, and the sounds of shuffling feet, but it all seems almost as if I were underwater. From the hallway directly before my head the sound of footsteps becomes louder, and so I tilt my head back to see what's going on.

White lights erupt behind my lids just as Jimin emerges with a handsome stranger following closely behind. 

"Jeonguk!" Jimin shouts, voice garbled and distorted to my oxygen deprived brain. "Get off! She's turning blue!"

Jeonguk scrambles off of me in record time, mumbling apologies endlessly as he attempts to help me up. But my body is now jello, and I am only just rediscovering this precious thing called air.

I'm just not ready.

"Just leave me, " I wheeze. "I'll get up on my own."

Jeonguk simply shrugs, walking away in accordance to my wishes. But Jimin is always a little trickier to get rid of.

"Are you okay?" He asks, reaching out with an open hand to help me up.

The stranger behind him observes in silence, body rigid as if he were angry or uncomfortable. It's impossible to read his face and determine which, since his face is hidden by a mask and a baseball cap.

What I do know is that he stares at Jeonguk's retreating figure awfully intense-like as the boy bounds up the stairs two at a time. 

I take Jimin's hand and he makes short work of lifting me back onto my feet.

"I'll be fine," I croak, steadying myself and letting go of his proffered hand. "Just need to catch my breath."

"Are you already all packed?" He asks, watching me closely as he awaits my reply.

I shake my head. 

"No," I answer. "I didn't know we were going anywhere. How did everyone else find out so quickly anyway?"

Jimin scratches the back of his head awkwardly before offering a dismissive shrug.

"I have no idea how you didn't hear about it," he tells me. "I heard about it from Namjoon weeks ago. Invited Hobi along too."

He gestures to the stranger and I immediately bristle.

I can't seem to stop myself from blushing, much to my utter mortification, as I realize that earlier it was Hoseok I'd called handsome. He stands idly behind Jimin still, smiling at me innocently.

"I'm not going." I intone seriously. "Have fun."

"Oh no," Jimin says. "You're definitely going."

"Oh no, I'm definitely not."

"Jin!" Jimin yells, ignoring the way both Hoseok and I wince at the sudden shift in volume. "Avelyn's trying to refuse to go!"

Jimin smirks at me, and then, he does this little... Victory wiggle? I really don't know how else to describe it. Whatever it is, it has both Hoseok and I amused.

Hoseok outright laughs, and I'd be lying if I say that I'm not smiling. But, unfortunately for Jimin, I have no intention of going anywhere. And after Jin collaborated with Jimin to trap me in the dining room with Hoseok, I really couldn't care less if he commands me to go. 

All of us have some set rule or another, and for the most part we all try to be pretty good about respecting them.

For Yoongi, his room is private and off limits. Jin demands that each of us share the chores evenly. Once a week, his girlfriend comes over, and for that period of time we all kind of scatter. It's not that she isn't nice, or even that Jin has particularly asked for it. He just spends so much time taking care of us, that we all figured alone time with his girlfriend would be preferable to having us about to muck up the mood.

Namjoon doesn't like others touching his things. His room is pretty much the standard definition of chaos. I think it probably reflects his brilliant mind, because no matter how messy it gets in there, he doesn't seem to have a problem finding anything.

At least, not unless someone else comes and cleans his room. I hear rumors about the one and only time Jin ever did such a thing, and from all accounts, the poor braniac hadn't been able to find anything for weeks.

Jeonguk is, for the most part, simple and fairly easy to please. As far as I can tell, the only thing he hates is being babied. 

Jimin is another story entirely.

Learning to live with Jimin's insecurities had been like a live action game of mine-sweeper for a little while. Luckily, the lot of us kept calm, and patient. Eventually we all were able to determine all the ways in which Jimin had been hurting.

And little by little, I'd like to think that we've helped him overcome at least some of those insecurities.

As for me, well. Up until this point I haven't really had any such cares. Frankly, I'm almost always gone anyway. I'm rarely ever home. Most of the time, I come home simply to bathe, pass out, and then do it all again.

But I finally seem to have found something to put my foot down about. And I have half a mind to do so. But Jin's voice, reverberating through the walls and down the stairs, tells me that I had best give up that notion real quick.

"Well she's coming, like it or not!" He hollers. "Otherwise I'll tell Yoongi that she was the one who washed his Kumamon plushie!"

I grimace, realizing I'm not left with much of a choice. 

In my defense, the thing clearly had never been washed, and was in dire need of it. How was I supposed to know one of it's eyes would pop off? Yoongi will surely kill me if he finds out, and I sigh in resignation.

"Fine, " I tell Jimin angrily. "You win. I'll be packed in five minutes."

And as I turn and drag myself up the stairs, adding extra mope to my demeanor just for Jimin's benefit, the little shit smiles.


	6. CHAPTER FIVE

"I'm going to kill you Park Jimin," I mutter beneath my breath.

We have just arrived. An expanse of private beach looms before us and I groan when I think about just how much I'm going to incur the suns wrath while we're here. Sunshine and me? We don't get along. I can wear 50 SPF sunblock, and reapply it every five minutes, and somehow I will still become a lobster. Thank God that the modest cottage Jin's parents had built on the island had at least been commissioned with working central air. I already feel like I'm melting.

"That's fine," I grouse, "Jimin can just be responsible for hauling my purple, peeling self to the ER when I get sun poisoning."

Mostly theatrics, sure. Chances are I won't really get sun poisoning, but I swear that I really wasn't lying about the purple and peeling bits.

"Yo, Avelyn, need any help?" 

Hoseok comes bounding up to me, enthusiastic smile on his face as he awaits my response.

I don't know just what it is that Jimin has been filling this guy's head with in order for him to be so persistent, but I have to give it to him. This guy just doesn't know when to stop. The entire ferry ride here he'd been content to chatter my ear off, even if I had nothing to say in return. 

Hell, I haven't seen hide nor hair of Jimin since this morning at the airport, but every time I turn around Hobi is there.

I completely ignore him, instead opting to make my way to our lodgings on my own. 

So I start down the well worn path, tropical trees that bob and sway in the breeze line each side. Everywhere I look is bright and beautiful, and later I'll probably enjoy it. But for right now, it's only seven thirty in the morning.

Why is it so bright?

Behind me Hoseok follows along. By now his incessant chatter has become white noise, I barely even register it. The rest of the boys are already far ahead, boundless energy propelling them far faster than I can manage. Sleeping on the plane has left me, honestly, a little cranky and disoriented. 

And it'd been impossible to sleep peacefully. I've always had a weird thing about sleeping in front of other people. It didn't help that the elderly couple next to me snored the entire way. So I'm still tired too. I'm pretty sure I stumble once or twice, and my eyes are too groggy to see straight. Nevertheless, I continue, grimacing silently.

But then suddenly, someone is screaming, and I am reminded that Hoseok was behind me.

I whip around, alarmed by the sudden wailing, only to be greeted by a sight so comical that I forget I was ever ignoring him. Before him is a small garden snake, and the man is frozen in terror. Looking at his wide eyes, enlarged nostrils, and horrified grimace, I feel incredibly sorry for him. And the snake, if I'm to be honest.

He whimpers at me softly, eyes begging me to help him. 

It's quick work, capturing the little guy. And once I've got him in hand, even quicker work releasing him further down the path and away from the still mortified Jung Hoseok.

"Oh God," he moans lowly. 

For a second I am afraid he might vomit, and I am hesitant to approach.

"I hate snakes,"

"I can tell," I reply somberly. "Are you going to be okay?"

His head snaps up, eyes wide in excitement this time.

"Wow!" He exclaims happily, grinning ear to ear. "She really does talk!"

I groan, realizing that I have just unknowingly encouraged him. 

"Hey!" He shouts, rushing to follow along as I turn and walk away. "Don't clam up on me now!"

I wince to myself, wishing I had just kept on walking. The snake would never have hurt him, he'd eventually have figured it out. 

He continues to follow behind, chattering into my ear and causing me to slump even further into myself. Just how long is this path anyways? I could have sworn it was much shorter than this. I can already feel the mosquitos pricking at my skin, and the South American humidity dampening the back of my neck. 

I switch my luggage, so that both bags are held in one hand, and free the other to scratch at my neck. I'm grateful to have remembered to pull my honey hued curls back and out of my face. But there's this one spot, just a tad bit itchier than the rest.

It's maddening but no matter how much I scratch it, the itch won't go away. I teeter this way and that as I walk, led by the swaying of my carry on.

"Avelyn?" 

I hear Hoseok's voice break through the monotonous hum of white noise and, startled, I miss a step. Because of this my foot meets the ground with more effort than anticipated, and my vision swirls before me. 

"Avelyn, are you okay?" He asks.

I shake my head. Though I've managed to catch myself, my vision has become nausea inducing and I suddenly feel rather short of breath. No matter how much air I take in, I just don't seem to be getting enough.

"My neck," I wheeze. "is it swollen?"

His fingers against my neck feel cool, and soft, timid and gentle. I feel my hair, brushing against my skin as he pushes my mane aside, and then a gasp.

"It's swollen isn't it?" 

"Very," he replies nervously. "Are you feeling alright? Should I go get Jimin?"

I shake my head in response to his first question, and then, after a brief moment of thought, in response to his second question as well. I attempt to move forward, thinking to myself that I can still administer my own epi pen. I just need to sit down a moment and rummage through my luggage to find it, though I'm pretty sure I remember putting it in my carry on. 

"That does make the most logical sense, doesn't it?" I think to myself.

But I've misjudged just how quickly my breathing would deteriorate, because I can no longer draw more than shallow half breaths. I grab onto Hoseok, mumbling apologies as I lean on his willowy frame for support.

"He's sturdier than he looks," I muse.

"Get Jin," I whimper. "Quickly!"


	7. CHAPTER SIX

The warm smell of vanilla enshrouds my senses as I awaken. I sit up, only to leap out of my bed without even bothering to clear my eyes. 

"So what if I look like a troll in my pajamas?" I grumble to myself. "It smells so delicious!"

I'm far too groggy to wonder when the hell it was that I got into pajamas, and far too ensorcelled by this bewitching scent to care. 

It leads me through the hall and into the kitchen, where Jin rests lazily at the bar, crossword puzzle spread out before him. He hasn't noticed my presence yet, and I chuckle, amused by the scene before me.

"This what you do in your free time?" I inquire softly, startling the poor man and nearly knocking him from his seat.

"Jeez," he complains. "Why is everyone so eager to give me a heart attack?"

He clutches his chest, breathing labored as he glares at me. 

"First Hoseok comes running through here screaming for me, with you in his arms no less, screaming about how you passed out, " he stops for a second, shuddering violently before resuming. "You should have seen the swelling Avelyn. I certainly can't un-see it now, I'm nearly afraid to sleep. I just know that I'm gonna have a nightmare."

I grin sheepishly at his theatrics. No matter how much he grouses I know Jin cares, he delivered the epi-pen after all.

"Is that why you're up so late?" I ask, sliding onto the stool beside him.

"It's not that late, " he tells me. "Actually, it's more the case of being early."

He points to the clock, softly tick-tocking just above the dining room table and I see that he's right. It's five in the morning. 

"I must have slept for an entire day, " I realize.

"So what's baking?" I ask, unable to curb my curiosity any longer.

"Oh, " he quips. "Sugar cookies. I thought it'd be a nice treat for tomorrow's picnic."

I peer at him with confusion written clearly upon my face. Why bake cookies more than twenty-four hours in advance?

He notices my confusion, and his blank face suddenly dawns with understanding.

"Today I mean, " he corrects, eyes wide and cheeks slightly pink.

"Think you can leave some behind for me?" I inquire hopefully.

"What do you mean?" He replies. "You're coming with us!"

I groan, all hopes of just sleeping the entire weekend away dashed in less than a moment.

"You're a cruel man Seokjin, you know that right?"

He chuckles, smiling at me with that endearing grin of his.

"You know you love me, " he retorts. Then, softening for a moment, he adds, "You know I only meddle so because I care about you too."

I sigh.

"We're having this conversation now?" I grouse silently.

"Don't look at me like that, " Jin commands. "If you have something on your mind, say it Avelyn. Or do you still not trust us?"

"Fine, " I snap.

Jin simply waits with patient, understanding eyes and I rub my temples which are now suddenly throbbing. 

"I'm sorry, " I say, "for snapping like that. It wasn't okay. But I do wish you and Jimin would stop trying to meddle in my personal affairs."

"You're talking about the matchmaking, right?" He asks, smiling gently.

I nod my head.

"It isn't that I don't appreciate the fact that you guys care, but it just isn't for me. This isn't what I need right now."

He regards me with curiosity for a moment.

"Why?" He asks.

I tilt my head, looking at him as if he himself had grown another head.

"Why are you so dead set against it, and against Hoseok? He's a good kid, you know? If not for him you wouldn't have gotten your epi-pen in time." He states. "And if romance is so far out of the question can't you at least be friendly to the guy? Who knows? The two of you could make great friends!"

I fix him with my side eye, but ultimately realize that I have no real choice. I can't explain the reasons why to Jin, I don't think I could ever be ready for that. So I'm left with only one other path.

"I'll try to be less prickly, " I grumble, cheeks turning scarlett when Jin pats me on the head approvingly.

"That's my girl, " he says proudly. "You know I'm proud of you, right?"

I smile softly as he wraps his arms around me in an encouraging hug. 

"Hey! What's cooking?"

We release each other and turn around to find Hoseok smiling cheerfully at us. I take one good look at his neatly combed hair and sparkling aura and groan.

"You're one of those people aren't you?" I whine. "You're a morning person."

He smiles, pearly whites on full display. It is a sight far too stunning to be flashing at everyone at five in the morning, I almost want to sue. What right does any human being have to be so decent at such an hour?

"Guilty as charged, " he chuckles. 

"Actually, " Jin speaks up. "We were just talking about you!"

I didn't think it possible, but Hoseok actually smiles even more brightly than before. I groan, burying my face in my arms upon the bar's surface.

"Can we not?" I mumble into my arms.

Unfortunately, this means that the sound is muffled and Jin simply ignores me.

"All good things of course, " Jin continues. "Avelyn was just agreeing to be a little friendlier too, so I was thinking. Today, the two of you are going to be picnic buddies."

I snap my head up, irritation painted clearly upon my face. Meanwhile, Hoseok is chuckling softly, clearly too amused by the situation to hold himself together entirely.

"Don't you think we're a little too old for the buddy system Jin?" I argue.

"And if someone hadn't been with you yesterday morning?" He replies, grinning in self satisfaction. "I rest my case."


	8. CHAPTER SEVEN

At precisely 11:30 in the morning the sun is magnificently overhead. There is a pleasant breeze, and it rustles through the thinly-trunked trees, swaying them this way and that. The air is humid, and I can already feel the perspiration on my skin. I've bared just about as much as I possibly can without stripping down to my undies.

I look down, once more lamenting just how short the sundress is. 

"I can't believe Jin would pick something so short!" I exclaim to myself.

But it's a beautiful day nonetheless. And just now, we've reached the tree line, and the ocean explodes into sight before us. Jeonguk rushes for the water, running so fast that he leaves Jimin in the dust.

Jimin, too, runs straight for the water. But Jin makes a bee line for the cooking pit we'd built last time we were here. 

I sigh, envying both Jimin and Jeonguk. This morning, before we'd left, we'd all drawn straws to see who'd carry what. But of course, we'd all gotten so used to Jeonguk taking care of all the heavy lifting. Seeing as this is his special weekend, he'd been allowed to forgo pulling a straw. This had meant that Jin, Namjoon, Hoseok, and I had been forced to carry pretty much everything.

Jimin had pretty quickly dumped his significantly light load upon my shoulders, and Hoseok had outright refused to allow me to carry my original load. Him and I have held up the rear, with me following him and watching closely as he suffers in silence.

Also, I'd been to afraid to walk in front of Namjoon in all honesty. 

"Wait!" I exclaim, stopping in my tracks. "Where's Yoongi? I haven't seen him the entire trip, but he was at the airport right?"

I surprise Hoseok, and for a moment he teeters. He quickly regains control of the situation, however, just as Namjoon turns around.

"He didn't come, " Namjoon reveals. "He elected to stay home."

"Hold on, why was he allowed to 'elect' to stay home?" I complain.

"From what I understand Yoongi works on the weekends, and was unable to get off." Namjoon replies. "But I'd wager that, also, Yoongi is one of the only people in this family that Jin is afraid of. I never heard the full story, but apparently Yoongi is not a man to be messed with lightly."

"Hey, " Hoseok cuts in, beaming brightly and altering the mood entirely. "It's not so bad is it? From what I hear, these trips tend to be a lot of fun!"

"They usually are, " I reply. "But I should be home practicing."

We walk towards Jin and the firepit, closely following Namjoon as Jimin and Jeonguk splash into the water. Jin directs us, this way and that, depending on what we are carrying. Once everything has been set down he then grabs Namjoon, and begins to shoo Hoseok and I away.

"Go have fun!" He tells me, with a smile that reaches his eyes. "Joonie'll help me out. Won't you Joonie?"

Namjoon is powerless to say otherwise and he knows it. I feel for him, I really do. And at the same time, I can't help but think to myself, "better you than me."

I flash Namjoon an apologetic smile, before turning around and heading straight towards the shoreline.

"What are you practicing anyway?" Hoseok asks, falling in step behind me.

"Ballet, " I deadpan. 

"So you're a ballerina?"

"Mhm, " I reply.

I don't bother to look behind me. I know that Hoseok is still following by the sounds of his footsteps and the occasional comment. He seems more than content to do all the talking for me, and I have to wonder why he's trying so hard when I obviously care so little.

He chuckles behind me, and I stop. 

"Why?" I ask, not even bothering to look back.

"Why what?" Hoseok replies.

"Why do you keep trying so hard?" I elaborate. "You've seen the way I react every time I see you."

I hear the sound of footsteps behind me, and realize that Hoseok is moving. He comes to stand before me, grinning widely at me despite my stoic attitude.

"First of all, ouch." He says. "And also, what can I say? I'm an optimist."

I frown, a complete contrast to his sunny disposition, and then respond with, "What is it that you do for a living?"

He bounces up and down on the balls of his feet, grin growing even larger as his excitement takes over.

"I'm a dancer too," he tells me. "But I'm more of a hip hop kind of guy myself."

"So more than anyone, you should be able to understand why romantic entanglements are just a bad idea." I reply.

"Maybe, " he says, still smiling even now. "But that doesn't mean that we can't get to know each other. After all, I'm interested in more than just your body you know."

I pause for a second, considering his words.

It isn't as if I have any reason to deny him friendship, but I honestly believe that he probably has more than that in mind. 

"If you're aiming for friendship, then I suppose I don't mind that too much, " I say, once more turning forward so that I can head further into the forest. "Just tell Jimin to butt out, and keep in mind that I'm fully intent on dying a virgin. I have no need for romance."

The man behind me chokes theatrically, gasping for air and thumping his chest. But he is quick to regain his wits, and before long we are both moving forward once more.

I resume my previous pace, eager to find a nice spot to vegetate. I can hear Hoseok humming along behind me, clearly enjoying his small victory. And for once, I find that I actually don't mind the cheery tune. Before I have even realized it, I'm actually even smiling secretly to myself.

Today is gonna be a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should have mentioned it before now, but I'm kinda new to AO3 and still figuring out how this system works. Since I'm new, I hope that you guys will take good care of me!
> 
> I wrote on Wattpad under the same username, and thought that maybe it was time to go ahead and start publishing some of my completed works here. I have a few books that aren't complete, so feel free to mosey on over to wattpad and give those a readsy too.
> 
> I hope that you enjoy!


	9. CHAPTER EIGHT

"So, the ocean's right there, but you're just gonna sit here and read?" Hoseok asks, eying me oddly as I stretch out beneath the shade of a massive palm tree.

It's enormous, verdant fronds sway lightly in the breeze as I turn another page.

"Yep," is my response.

I rarely ever take time to lounge around like this. It's an odd feeling, not to be sore or in pain. I'm pretty much always practicing lately, and if I'm not practicing I'm performing. I frown, thinking about the time that I am wasting. And it isn't like I can practice here. The second Jimin finds out I'm doing anything besides resting, I'm dead meat.

The blanket rumples as Hoseok makes himself comfortable beside me. I flinch, tensing as he lays his head upon my shoulder, but remain quiet. It isn't as if Jimin hasn't done the same thing a million times. Hell, Jeonguk probably does it more often than he does. I want to relax, and logically I should be able to. However, I can't help but notice that he smells really good, and now I feel incredibly awkward.

"What's it about?" he murmurs.

I blush, embarrassed by the way his breath tickles against my shoulder.

"I don't know," I reply unsteadily.

My breath hitches towards the end and I curse internally. Why is this such a problem? I'm not usually one to make things so awkward. I swear I have more self control than this.

Hoseok looks at me quizzically, one eyebrow raised into a magnificent arch. 

"I'm not much of a reader," I shrug, momentarily disrupting his head.

He sits up and smiles slyly. I feel incredibly unsettled, and I wonder if he is doing this on purpose. 

"Come on," he says joyfully.

Hoseok stands, and then grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet. 

I stumble along behind him as he drags me towards the beach. The trees over-head become more sparse the further we travel, so the amount of sun-light gradually increases as well. I can already feel the sizzle of the sun upon the sand, I know I'm gonna regret this later.

"I'm not much of a swimmer either," I yell desperately.

No matter how much I try to free myself from his grasp, I simply can't.

"What you need is some good, old fashioned fun." He tells me.

Looking back, he smiles. I cease resisting at all. 

Finally we pass through the tree line, and onto the beach. Jeonguk and Jimin are having a blast in the water, although I'm fairly certain one of them is going to drown before the day is over with the way that they are wrestling. Jin flurries about to and fro, cooking over what is now a blazing fire. And this explains why he hasn't gotten onto the boys yet for horseplay.

"Just how quickly did Namjoon manage to get firewood?" I marvel to myself.

Namjoon, it seems, has already finished everything that Jin needed from him. He rests beneath the shade of a bright blue parasol, upon a towel. Book in hand, he seems lost to the world.

"Yah!" Jeonguk shouts, spotting us before anyone else. "Come on in! The water feels great!"

"Shut up Guk!" Jimin shrieks, finally managing to get the upper hand for a split second. "Never turn your back on your enemy!"

Jeonguk is only underwater for a moment, however, and Jimin knows that he's screwed. The look that passes over his face is equal parts surprise, and bitter regret as Jeonguk lifts him as easily as if Jimin were a bird. And as Jeonguk tosses Jimin, the latter flails and wails at the top of his lungs.

"Come on!" Jeonguk repeats.

"I really don't want to, " I pout, but Hoseok isn't hearing a word of it.

He continues to drag me towards the water and I balk. I dig my feet into the sand, straining against his hold. It isn't until we are right upon the waters edge that I manage to free myself, and I attempt to bolt for it to no avail. Hoseok, it seems, is faster than me, and catches up to me in no time.

He flings me over his shoulder as easily as if I were a bag of feathers, and begins marching into the water. I shriek as the water gets deeper, and I feel his muscles tense. The water is absolutely frigid!

"Hoseok!" I scream, "don't you dare!"

But it's too late. He tosses me effortlessly into the water, and I sink to the bottom like a rock before shooting right back up, coughing and spluttering as I surface.

Hoseok, Jimin, and Jeonguk all laugh merrily as I attempt to compose myself. It's difficult, because right now I feel like a drowned cat. My limbs don't want to function properly as I attempt to suck in copious amounts of air, so I cling to Hoseok like a lifeline.

Not because I trust him, but because he's the only one nearby.

Jimin and Jeonguk have retreated, each too preoccupied with their own water-battle to take part in ours. My lungs burn, but, after a few moments I manage to settle and breathe normally.

"You're a dead man, " I growl, speaking directly to Hoseok.

And it's the only warning he gets.

I wrap my arms around his neck, and my legs around one of his. Using my own weight, I drag the laughing man under. I rise from the water with satisfaction, grinning as he too rises with a splutter of his very own. 

The answering glint in his eyes tells me that this is only the beginning, and though I do my best to ignore it, my heart thumps painfully in my chest for just one beat.

He lunges towards me, and I attempt to flee, screaming the whole way.

"Jimin!" I shriek, smiling despite myself. "Save me!"

But I don't think that Jimin can hear me. Hoseok catches up to me easily, and before I know it we are splashing each other mercilessly and with enthusiasm. 

Before long, even Jimin and Jeonguk join in. And as we splash each other indiscriminately the sun shines brightly in the clear, blue sky.


	10. CHAPTER NINE

I lay on my back staring dreamily at the sky. These last couple of days have actually been really great, and really refreshing. It's hard not to feel guilty about my lack of progress, but Hoseok, as it turns out, is a really effective distraction.

"What are you doing?" Hoseok asks curiously.

Speak of the devil, they say.

He stands above me, suddenly blocking my view of the star-lit sky. There is a inquisitive tilt to his head and a wide grin upon his face. 

"Just thinking, " I reply. 

"Yeah?" He says. "What about?"

I smile softly as he hunkers down on the grass beside me. His head is so close to mine that I can smell his shampoo. It smells strongly of citrus, and maybe a hint if cloves. Such a sharp scent too, one that is impossible to ignore. And it's such an intimate thing, being so closely acquainted with his unique scent. To be aware of it. 

I can't help the blush that threatens to overtake my cheeks. And for the first time since I can remember, I actually feel somewhat bashful all of a sudden.

"Work, " I answer.

It isn't a complete lie, I suppose. I was originally thinking of it. He doesn't need to know that my thoughts turned to him, even before his arrival.

"Dance, you mean."

It's a statement, not a question.

I can hear the change in his tone, he must be frowning. I roll my head to the side, just so that I can look at him. As it happens, I'm right, and his mouth, which is normally set into a smile of some sort or another, is tilted down into a rather thoughtful frown.

"You know, " he says, "maybe that's half your problem right there."

I immediately bristle, becoming unreasonably defensive. I expect the worst in situations like this, so I can only tense up, and wait for the ridicule that always inevitably follows.

Flash-backs of my father's spitting fury and crazed eyes play before my eyes, and I can suddenly recall each and every time that I have been ridiculed for choosing this path. 

But Hoseok surprises me once more, because with a gentle smile he explains.

"If you view it as work, it only makes sense you wouldn't be able to make that last step stick."

My eyebrows raise quizzically as I eye him curiously.

"What I mean is, " he continues, "that you're giving yourself anxiety. Dance is something that you pursue because you enjoy it right? Maybe you've forgotten that."

I simply stare, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, in dumbfounded realization. I can't argue with him, it's a valid point after all.

Oh, I want to. I definitely want to. But what's the point of denying it?

"Maybe I wasn't meant to be a dancer after all, " I sigh.

My body becomes heavy as my mind adds fuel to the fires of my insecurities. But Hoseok sits up, and then pulls me into a sitting position as well. Though I try to look away, embarrassed at being seen in such a sorry state, he forces me to look at him with a gentle finger beneath my chin.

"Hey, " he says softly, eyes bright as he reassures me. "Stop that. Stop tearing yourself apart. Trust me, I know what you're feeling."

He releases me, finger ghosting softly against my skin as it parts. And yet, I am still unable to look away, polarized as I am by his eyes and the light within.

"You're a beautiful woman Avelyn, " he tells me. "And one of the most graceful dancers I've ever seen."

For a moment, I'm almost afraid that he is going to kiss me. So why is it that I also almost want him to at the same time? But I am left in both relief, and oddly enough, disappointment. 

Hoseok jumps up, and grabs my hand in order to yank me to my feet. He laughs as our bodies collide, the momentum caused by my weight sending us staggering backwards ever so slightly.

He is quick to catch his balance, and before I can even realize his devious plan, we are swaying lightly to the sounds of the wind and the waves. His hands are upon my hips, and I am all the more red for the contact. But I robotically loop my arms around his neck nevertheless, entirely unsure as to why I am humoring this at all.

"Relax, " he croons into my ear.

I nearly melt on the spot.

And as my limbs become jello, he scoops me even further into his embrace, crooning sweetly once more into my ear.

"Perfect."

And that's all he says. 

We continue to sway in the breeze. Our song is the sounds if the waves, crashing against the beach, and the various sounds of the night. I am more content in this moment than I have been in years, all of my worries drifting away as I enjoy the feeling of his body against mine.

For a long time now I've been afraid of human contact in any real form. Aside from Jimin, who often leaves me little choice in the matter, I rarely willingly touch anyone. The difference, however, between Jimin and Hoseok, are stark and clear as day.

Jimin is that annoying little brother that you can't help but to adore. But Hoseok, well, he's something else entirely. 

It almost feels like cheating, allowing Hoseok to hold me so closely, when I've yet to even hug Jin, Namjoon, Yoongi, or Jeonguk.

"You're thinking too much, " he murmurs softly. "What are you thinking about?"

I bite my lip, hiding my blush by burying my face into his shoulder. 

I'm not entirely sure how I should respond. My initial instinct to deflect has left me somehow, and I find myself decidedly vulnerable. So, with lungs that feel as if they might burst with the pressure of telling the truth, I speak.

"You."

I can feel the muscles in his face moving, and know that he must be smiling.


	11. CHAPTER TEN

I yawn, stretching aimlessly as Jeonguk deposits my luggage in front of my bedroom door.

"You know, " he complains. "You could honestly probably have Hobi do this for you."

I shrug, far too tired to debate. I'm honestly still not entirely comfortable with Hoseok hanging around our already crowded apartment. But...

I guess he's not so bad.

Blushing, I recall the way we'd danced beneath the stars only a couple days ago. Afterwards, we'd all been far too busy spending time together as a family for anyone to spend time privately together.

Honestly though, it was probably for the best. It's unsettling just how easily that man manages to get under my skin. How easily he influences me. So, I'd been trying my best to avoid him the entirety of the way home. The duration of the flight back to New York had been incredibly awkward, thanks once again to Jimin's meddling.

But Hoseok had seemed to understand, simply sitting in silence the entire flight. As it turns out, Hoseok's reticent company had been less irritating than before. Pleasant, even.

Jeonguk saunters off, not nearly as tired as the rest of us. Unlike everyone else, Jeonguk had easily passed out during the flight home. He clearly hadn't been disturbed by the elderly man beside him, who'd continuously rambled about his grandchildren despite Jeonguk's obvious snores. Neither had he been in the least cognizant of the baby in seat fifteen, screaming non-stop as his weary mother tried desperately to shush him.

I shudder. Just thinking about the flight makes me want to crawl into bed and never get out.

With tired fingers, I turn the knob. Jin will probably yell at me later for leaving my luggage in the hall, but right now I don't even have the energy to get up and close the door.

I melt into a puddle across my bed, far too fuzzy to crawl under the covers even. Sighing against my normally brick-like mattress, I revel in how good it feels to be home and back in my own bed. 

But I'll probably eat those words in a couple weeks.

Just outside the door I can hear the sounds of everyone shuffling to their own rooms. Then the hallway settles down and into a much-needed peace, the sounds of closing doors little more than a quickly fading memory.

But out of nowhere, my peace and quiet is disrupted by Jimin, who throws himself directly upon me.

"Get off!" I shout angrily. "You had the entire bed to plop yourself down on, why'd you have to throw yourself right on top of me?"

I wriggle this way and that, attempting to free myself from his weight. But no matter how I try, I simply can't make him budge.

"Seriously!" I yell. "Get off!"

He laughs, a deep, belly laugh that has me scowling furiously, but rolls off of me nonetheless.

"I'm glad that you find my suffering so amusing, " I growl. "Why are you pestering me?"

He continues to laugh, unbothered by my ire. I frown, waiting for him to stop dying at my expense.

"I just wanted to check up on you, " he wheezes, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

"Sure, " I reply, extra snarky and not at all pleased. "That's why you attempted to kill me right?"

"Ahh no, " Jimin falsely whines. "Kill? Never. Just seriously maim or injure."

He snickers once more, and despite my best efforts to remain angry I simply can't. 

"Honestly though. Dobby went out like a boss, " I comment. 

We both smile easily, laying side by side together on our backs upon my rock hard mattress. Oddly enough, the longer I lay here, the less comfortable my bed becomes.

"Why do you do it?" I ask suddenly, breaking the still and silent air with my heavy words.

"Do what?" He asks, turning to lay on his side, head propped up by his hand as he eyes me quizzically.

"Sleep around." I reply. "Why do you sleep around?" 

We are both silent for a moment, neither truly knowing what to say or how to begin. In all the years that we have been friends, we've yet to really discuss in any real length our shared experiences with betrayal.

Lips parted, as if to speak, Jimin looks uneasy now. He shuts his mouth once more, confidence draining away visibly. 

"What she did... Doesn't it just make everything pointless? After what he did... I just can't." I drag in a ragged breath, tears threatening to pour from my eyes that are barely held at bay on sheer willpower alone.

"It's been so long, " I think to myself. "I will NOT cry!"

"I gave him everything that I was, wrapped all of my hopes and dreams around one person. Planned my future out so that I could stand beside him, " Jimin's eyes are heavy with his own brand of sorrow as I continue, "I have nothing left to give. I wasted my heart on someone who never gave me his."

He plops back down onto the bed with a heavy sigh, eyes shimmering with punished tears.

"I feel the same way, " he tells me softly. "And it still hurts too. So, so much. If I think about her... I just can't think about her. It helps me forget."

His admission comes as little surprise to me, so I simply nod in understanding.

"You throw yourself into whoring and I throw myself into my career, " I muse aloud.

"Hey!" Jimin shouts indignantly, elbowing in the ribs. "You don't have to say it like that!" 

We both chuckle. However crudely phrased, it's still the truth.

"You seem to be getting along with Hobi a little better!" He exclaims suddenly.

I know that he is seeking to lighten the mood, but that name causes my gut to churn in a rather unpleasant kind of way. The way that my organs turbulently thrash about leaves me nauseated and confused.

Almost as if it were fate, my cellphone begins to ring obnoxiously. I scramble from my bed quickly, initially worried that it may be a call from my troupe leader. I don't even bother to check the caller ID, instead answering immediately.

"Hello?" I answer softly, expecting my leaders harsh voice, and even harsher words.

But instead of Lori's sharp tongue and hurtful words, I am met with the voice of the last person on earth I really want to talk to.

"Hey!" Hoseok exclaims. "You actually picked up! I wasn't sure that you would!" 

I can practically hear him beaming from the other end of the phone, and I find myself stupidly grinning as well.

Jimin eyes me excitedly, holding his breath and looking as if he might pass out at any moment. So I clear my throat, and school my expression.

"It's really late, " I grouse, intentionally hoping to come across as grumpy.

I hadn't known that it was Hoseok calling, or I probably wouldn't have picked up. But, for whatever reason, I don't feel like I can tell him such a thing. But hopefully, if I'm sufficiently grouchy, he won't call again.

"Ahh, " he says bashfully. I can just imagine him, running his fingers through that pretty hair of his as he blushes.

I blush, and am even more embarrassed than I was before.

"I know it's late, and we just got home, " he explains, "but I couldn't fall asleep and was wondering if you'd like to meet up for coffee or something?"

"Coffee? At this time of night?" I question.

"To be fair, " he defends, "this one cafe I know with late hours makes some amazing hot cocoa."

At even the mention of my favorite hot and chocolaty beverage my entire mood changes, and I forget all about how embarrassed I was. Jimin snickers in the background, and I shoot him a warning glare that only serves to make him laugh harder.

"Just text me the address and I'll be there, " I tell him, hanging up the phone without fanfare or even as much as a goodbye. 

"Shut it Jimin, " I growl lowly, annoyed by the fact that he is still laughing away. "Not a word."


	12. CHAPTER ELEVEN

The sky is so incredibly dark, but it only makes the neon glow that much brighter as I traverse the pavement. The address for the cafe isn't too far away from where we live, which makes me wonder about how close Hoseok lives. 

It occurs to me that I don't actually know much about the man. 

According to my phones GPS, the cafe should be just around the corner. And as I round the corner, I spot the cafe's brilliantly glowing sign. To be honest, I was surprised to learn that there were any cafes open this late. It's nearly three in the morning.

But the sign in the window does, in fact, state that it's open, as does google. I suck in a deep breath, preparing myself for the inevitable churning in my stomach.

Surprisingly, it never comes.

As I open the door I am greeted by the smell of warm vanilla and roasted coffee beans. The place is decorated in dark, decadent shades of brown and delectable red. Despite the bold colors, it actually has a bit of a homey feel going for it.

Hoseok awaits me patiently at a table farther in the back, and I immediately make my way to him, eager to taste that hot cocoa now that I am being bombarded with all these amazing smells.

I'd be lying if I say that I'm not drooling just a little.

I cross the cafe swiftly, and place my order at the register. The place is cozy, so it doesn't take long at all to reach the table at which Hoseok is sitting. And with a smile he greets me, clearly pleased to see me.

"How long have you been here waiting?" I query, stomach growling as I sit directly across from him.

"I'm always early for everything, don't worry about it." He says dismissively. "More importantly, you should have texted me what you wanted. Then I could have paid for you."

The teasing lilt in his voice does not go unnoticed by me, and I smile just a little in response.

"Speaking of, " I ask, sipping my hot cocoa gingerly, "how did you get my phone number?"

He looks sheepish for a moment, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. It's decidedly adorable, and I chuckle softly.

"I got it from Jimin, " he mumbles, suddenly finding the various coffee bean pictures scattered about immensely interesting.

I can tell by the way that he tenses that he expects me to get upset. And maybe I should be. But while I certainly don't appreciate Jimin handing my number out to people, I can't deny that I'm pleased Hoseok was able to call me and invite me here.

This hot chocolate is absolutely delicious.

So I smile, and clear my throat awkwardly. He looks my way for a brief moment, and notices my smile. His own answering smile is infectious, and before long we are both smiling and chatting easily.

"So why New York?" I ask. "Specifically, why did you leave South Korea?"

His smile dies on suddenly thin lips, and I worry that perhaps I've asked a personal question. But he runs his fingers through his hair and sighs, then speaks with hushed tones.

"I followed my ex, " he says heavily. "She was originally from New York."

I pat his hand sympathetically.

"I'm sorry, " I tell him. "I didn't mean to bring up painful memories."

He smiles half-heartedly, still clearly thinking of his ex, but trying to make me feel better nonetheless.

"It's okay, " he says. "What happened between us is in the past. There's no way you could have known, and besides, it's not like I'm trying to keep any secrets."

I rotate my cup, swirling the contents within lazily as Hoseok regards me with curiosity. I half expect him to start asking me all sorts of questions, after all, it would only be fair. I've been peppering him with questions for hours now.

Shit!

I dig into my purse for my phone, and quickly discover that we have been here and chatting idly for over three hours. It really hadn't even seemed like that long.

"I've gotta go!" I exclaim. "I'm supposed to be at work at seven!"

His eyes go wide in alarm as he spots the clock hanging on the wall across from us.

"I hadn't even realized that much time passed!" He exclaims. "I'm so sorry!" 

I chuckle, rising from my seat at the same time that he does.

"Don't worry about it, " I reply. "I lost track of the time too."

"How about I walk you to work?" He asks, eyes shining with hopeful enthusiasm.

"You know what?" I stop, waiting for Hoseok as he gathers up his own belongings. "I think I'd really like that."


	13. CHAPTER TWELVE

"Who was that pretty boy that walked you to work this morning?" My coworker, Linda, has been pestering me about Hoseok all morning.

"Yeah, " Anita replies, "spill the beans!"

I sigh, irritated by my fellow dancer's intrusive questioning. Linda isn't necessarily what I would call an acquaintance, and yet also not quite a friend. But Anita, on the other hand, is someone who is well liked by everyone but me.

Of course, that has a whole lot to do with the way she'd used me in order to get into Jimin's pants only a few months prior. I'm not sure what it was that she expected, but after her one night stand, and her failure to make Jimin her boyfriend, she'd been outright hostile to me for weeks.

"As if I had anything to do with it, " I snort to myself.

Just looking at her beady eyes and greedy countenance still makes me want to punch her in the face. And to be standing before me, acting as if she's ever been a friend of mine, doesn't help either.

"Not that it's any of your business, " I snap, "but he's just a friend."

Anita groans before walking off, clearly not interested any longer. Convinced that Jimin and I had something going, I'm sure she'd been hoping that I was out of the picture entirely. No matter how many times I say that Jimin and I are like brother and sister, she refuses to listen. I watch with irrigation as she saunters away, and quietly wonder to myself why she's even here when she clearly isn't here to be a dancer. Lord knows she's already slept with at least half of the staff at this point. 

But Linda perks up, eyes shining brightly at the realization that Hoseok is not my boyfriend.

"So, if he's just a friend does that mean he's fair game?" She asks hopefully.

A part of me bristles at the question, and I silently berate myself for it. I have no intention of dating, not even Hoseok, so I have no right to be upset. My mood darkens considerably, and I become even more grumpy than I was to start with.

Linda seems to take notice of it, and smiles at me knowingly.

"I take that as a no, " she chirps. "You like him, don't you?"

I cough, sputtering for air thanks to her outrageous claim.

"Absolutely not!" I exclaim wheezily. 

But Linda simply smirks, as if she knows something that I do not.

"I mean it!" I growl.

But it's a wasted effort to deny anything to Linda. She's always convinced that she knows everything and everyone, and this time won't be any different. I could argue with her till I'm blue in the face, and she would still find reason to refute my statement.

"Keep telling yourself that honey, " she drawls, honeyed-amusement coloring her tone as she walks away, hand held high in the air in dismissal. "But remember, if you push him away for too long it's only inevitable that someone else will snatch him up!"

I grumble my protests behind her retreating back. 

The rest of the day passes by, as ordinary as any other day really. Nothing terribly exciting happens, and before I know it, it's time to go home. I stretch, then gather my belongings as my muscles groan in protest.

I watch as all of my coworkers leave, talking amongst each other excitedly. Nothing unusual, the other men and women are always much more energetic than I am. A lot more social too. I've always tended to stick to myself, a feat made easy by the fact that everyone else ignores me.

What is unusual is the way that several of the women giggle, eyes glued at something just beyond our studio's entrance.

I follow the crowd out of the door, and am simultaneously surprised and yet, somehow not very surprised at all, to find a gaggle of my female coworkers crowding around none other than Hoseok himself.

Linda's words from earlier echo in my mind, and my stomach clenches in sickening anger. I am appalled to admit that I know exactly what this feeling is.

Jealousy.

But he pays little to no attention to the women around him, something that inexplicably causes my chest to swell with satisfaction. Instead, his eyes are frantically scanning the mass of bodies exiting the building. His eyes light up as he spots me, and I blush in response.

"Avelyn!" He calls excitedly, pushing aside his admirers in order to navigate his way to me through the throng of onlookers. 

I can feel eyes upon me, some envious, and some just downright hostile.

"I came to walk you home!" He exclaims, coming to a stop before me.

"Let me guess, " I deadpan, "Jimin was afraid I was going to head straight to his studio after work."

Hoseok pinkens slightly, shuffling his feet absentmindedly. 

"Not just Jimin, " he replies sheepishly. "I was worried about you too."

I sigh in resignation.

"Well, I'm afraid that I still have no intention of going home straight away." I tell him firmly. "You're a dancer too, right? You have to understand that I need to practice."

He pauses, unable to deny my statement, though I can tell he wants to argue with me.

"How about this, " he starts, "why don't we practice together?"

Whatever I had expected him to say, it was not this. Caught off guard as I am, I struggle to come up with some sort of excuse.

"You're a hip hop dancer though, " I argue, "how would practicing together be beneficial for either of us?"

He hums thoughtfully, and then opens his mouth to speak once more.

"Well practicing alone clearly isn't doing you any good. Besides, you might be surprised."

He grabs my hand, completely oblivious to the way others are looking at us as he drags me away. 

The walk to Jimin's studio seems much shorter with company, and I find myself simply listening as Hoseok rattles on about this and that. His adam's apple bobs enchantingly as he speaks animatedly, and I wonder if he's aware of just how very handsome he is. For the first time in my life I feel that I have something in common with my coworkers.

I too am unable to look away.


	14. CHAPTER THIRTEEN

"I think I know what keeps tripping you up, " Hoseok murmurs thoughtfully.

I sit beside him upon the floor, dabbing away at the sweat that climbs to me with a small towel.

"Yeah?" I inquire, nearly breathless.

I've been practicing for two hours now while Hoseok watches. More than once I've stumbled under his dark gaze. Thankfully, for the most part, he's been mercifully silent.

"Yeah, " he replies, grinning toothily.

He shimmies around and scoots until his knees touch mine. Reaching forward, he takes my hands in his own, and the amused light in his eyes fade. My body stiffens at how serious the situation has suddenly become, and I have a hard time looking him in the eye.

"You're too hard on yourself, " he tells me seriously. "You second guess yourself way too much. So much, in fact, that you're not feeling anything but anxiety. You can't connect to the music."

"Sure, " I reply softly. "Makes sense."

And I have to admit that it does. Dance just hasn't been the same for me since Jeremy. No matter what I do, I simply can't seem to be good enough, but maybe that problem stems from elsewhere. 

I've never been good enough, in anything really. 

From my parents, I'd received massive amounts of scrutiny, and too many expectations to live up to. A perfect daughter ought to be this way, or that. She should be quiet, and meek. She should always look her best, should always be on her best behaviour.

And her head certainly should remain firmly attached to her shoulders. Nothing was worse to my parents than my tendency to live with "my head in the clouds".

At school I consistently faced pressure from all sides. I was too pretty to be friends with the other girls, and too rich to be looked upon kindly by those who's parents toiled for less.

No matter how you look at it, I was alone. Forced into a league of my own by those around me, those who simply assumed that I believed myself better.

And my quiet nature didn't help matters at all.

But when I was with Jeremy, all of that faded away. He was the first person that ever made me feel worthy, and I begin to curl into myself mentally as I recall just how it all began.

His happy go lucky attitude and lack of care for the status quo had surprised me at first. And from that surprise had sprouted a sort of once in a lifetime love. I admired the way he chose his own path, despite his poorer upbringing, and the bravery with which he faced the world.

He'd loved dance too. 

It was how we'd met, actually. My parents had actually been rather encouraging of my wish to practice dance, back when it was merely a past time. In their eyes, it could only be advantageous for a young lady to learn something like ballet. It would make me refined, they believed. They hadn't counted on their well-bred daughter being paired with a boy capable or daring enough to steal her heart.

And that support died the moment I told them I wanted to do it for a living.

Oh, how furious they'd been. I can still remember how my father had shook with fury, can still feel the spittle from his over enthusiastic screaming. He'd gotten right in my face, and for the first time that I could remember, he'd struck me too. But I didn't care. Dancing with Jeremy, spending time with him, was a whole level of something I'd never experienced before.

Euphoria.

Hoseok grabs my chin gently, and it is only as he does that I realize my gaze has shifted ever downwards. 

"Look at me, " he murmurs softly.

And how could I not?

His onyx gaze pierces me, and I am completely unable to look away yet again. 

"Stop doing that, " he tells me gently, eyes crinkled and mouth fully upturned in a display of brilliant joy.

I've never had one smile steal my breath away like this. It's so bright, and so pure, that it almost hurts. And as he continues to gaze upon me softly, this moment is etched into my mind eternally. Forever after, when I remember this moment, I can already imagine that it will be as vivid as the very day it transpired. I am transfixed.

"Doing what?" 

It is nearly a whisper, and I barely recognize my own voice.

"Thinking, " he replies.

Suddenly his face is inches from my own, and I am assaulted once again by the smell of spice and citrus. His gaze, so intense that it seems as if time altogether has stopped flowing, continues to hold me in place, even as his breath mingles with mine.

For a moment, I am certain he will kiss me. And a tormented part of me wishes that he would. I watch, wide eyed and waiting, as he descends the fraction of a distance between us.

But then, at the last moment, his smile recedes, and he turns away. My breath rushes to escape from my lungs, all of the pent up air whooshing from within as if I've been sucker punched in the gut.

I feel a strange combination of relief and disappointment. And finally, it clicks into place.

The reason why Hoseok makes me so uncomfortable, and the reason that I wanted him to kiss me.

I like him.

My moment of realization is interrupted by a flurry of movement as Hoseok quickly retreats back into his own personal space. He scampers back to his feet, and hurriedly grabs his things.

I can see the way his hands shake, despite the way he attempts to hide it, and despair at the words that next leaves his mouth.

"I uh, " he stammers awkwardly. "I should go."

I am left shell shocked, sitting on the floor with a blank expression as I attempt to process everything that is happening. Hoseok veritably flees, as if the devil himself were on his heels.


	15. CHAPTER FOURTEEN

By the time I get back home, it's late. So late, in fact, that Jin is seated on our doorstep waiting for me. He wears a worried expression, and as I near the front door, he sighs in relief. 

The merciless scowl that follows is to be expected.

"Have you any idea how worried we were?" He exclaims noisily. "Even Yoongi came home early once we managed to get a hold of him. Him and Jimin have been out there, on the streets trying to find you."

I shuffle awkwardly, unsure of what to say and feeling thoroughly chastised. I'd sat for hours on the studio floor, sorting through my emotions. I hadn't even realized how late it had become, nor had I noticed the shift from daylight to night.

A part of me is still relieved that Hoseok hadn't kissed me, but I can't deny that it also stung. Did he not want to kiss me? Has he finally lost interest in me?

Before me, Jin sighs, and stands.

"Look at you, " he murmurs. "I've never seen you like this. What happened?"

He wraps his arms around me, and I break down. The tears that I'd been holding at bay come rushing out. I don't even fully understand why I'm crying, but Jin doesn't ask any more questions. He rubs my back soothingly as I snot all over what I know to be an expensive shirt.

"There there, " he says soothingly. "Let's get you inside."

He released me in favor of grabbing my hand, and then leads me into the kitchen where there is a plate, wrapped in tinfoil and with my name on it.

Jin removes the tin foil, and pops it into the microwave. The meat on the plate sizzles enchantingly behind the microwave's glass door. Unfortunately I am anything but hungry right now.

A few minutes later finds us seated in the dining room with a plate before me. The smell of roasted duck and stir fried veggies fills the room, a testament to Jin's excellent skills. He stares at me, waiting for me to dig in. The look of concern on his face as I merely pick at the food before me lifelessly is difficult to miss.

He looks as if he wants to say something, so I'm grateful for the way he holds his tongue. The silence that has settled over the room is calming, and I need that calm in order to figure out just what to say. 

"Hoseok almost kissed me today, " I nearly whisper.

I'm almost as surprised as Seokjin at the words that tumble from my mouth. I hadn't anticipated actually telling him everything, it sort of just came out on it's own.

"And that's a bad thing?" He inquires, patiently awaiting my response.

I place my fork upon the plate before me. Just now, I have no appetite. And pushing the food around as I had been is nothing but an insult to the love and effort that Jin must have put into this meal.

"Yes, " I reply. "No. Maybe? That's the terrifying part. I wanted him to kiss me, and instead he jumped back as if I had the plague and rushed off. He couldn't even bear to look at me."

"Maybe he was afraid of scaring you, " Jin replies confidently. He reaches out to take my hand in his own. "After all, you did tell him that you weren't interested, and you came across as pretty firm on that."

I nod lifelessly, outwardly agreeing with Jin. Inwardly, I'm not so sure.

"That's not all though, is it?" He asks softly, encouraging me to go ahead and lay it all bare.

I shake my head in response, and furrow my brows as I recall all the reasons why it's probably better this way.

"I wanted him to, but I'm torn." I reveal. "I can't Jin. I just can't. How could I after everything that Jeremy put me through?"

Jin sighs. It's not an exasperated sigh, not even an upset sort of sigh. It's more a sound of pity than anything else, and for a moment I am sure that our conversation is over.

I've never really talked to anyone about Jeremy before. Not even Jimin. Though, Jimin and Jin know the gist of what happened thanks to that incident a year ago. The same incident that saw me hospitalized, and the reason I carry water with me at all times.

But Jin surprises me.

"I know that what happened was painful, " he tells me softly, "but I think maybe you should give Hoseok a chance. Maybe it's time to put that pain behind you. Not every man is like Jeremy."

I tense, nearly panicking at the idea. 

What if he is just like Jeremy? What if I allow myself to feel something for him and he breaks my heart all over again? How can I trust anything after such an experience?

But I have to admit that there is some weight to Jin's statement.

I'm tired. Tired of the pain and the doubt. I realize that now. It's frightening, but spending time with Hoseok has reminded me of how good it all feels at first.

And a part of me wants to experience it again.

"I guess the real question, " Jin states, "is whether or not you like him."

"I do, " I reply, without even missing a beat.

"Sounds to me like you have your answer, " he tells me.

He studies me for a moment, and I blush under his scrutiny.

"Just think of it like this, " he tells me sagely, "sometimes the people that come into our lives aren't meant to stay. Sometimes, you learn something important from them, and then they have to go. And sometimes, you're going to end up hurt. But even if you try ninety nine times, and end up in misery, there's always the chance that you'll get it right the next time."

I nod in compliance, although my heart is far from accepting such a view. Even so, I feel somewhat better now that I have let it out and into the open. And for the first time in a while, I feel a sense of hope and excitement.

Jin bids me good night, and then steps out with his phone in hand. I hear him talking to what I presume to be Jimin in the background as I scarf down my food.

"Yes, she came home." He says. "I think she's gonna be alright."

And as I stand, grabbing my plate in order to wash it and put it away, I resolve to text Hoseok first thing in the morning.


	16. CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The first thing I notice when I wake up is that I have slept in. By three hours. A cursory glance at the alarm clock on my nightstand tells me that it is ten o'clock in the morning, and I am immediately in a panic.

I rush through my morning routine, barely even tasting the toothpaste that I speedily squeeze onto my tooth-brush, and not at all cognizant of my morning bed-head. At least, not until I look into the mirror.

I don't have time to fix my hair properly, so I settle on a messy bun. Thankfully, the majority of my wardrobe is either black, or grey, so I simply grab whatever is closest to my hand and dress quickly. 

Snatching my duffel bag, I speed out of my door and into the hallway. I take the stairs two at a time, and then zip into the kitchen, expecting there to be a plate left for me.

But to my surprise, when I arrive, there is nothing. No one, even. I hadn't heard it before because I was in too much of a hurry, but now, as I stop and listen, I can hear the soft sounds of Jin's snoring from his downstairs bedroom.

In a state of confusion, I pull out my phone.

"It's Saturday, " I realize, and I sigh in relief.

I'm not late for work.

Grabbing my bag I retreat back to my bedroom. Upon arrival I eye my bed longingly. 

"I could go back to sleep, " I muse.

But then, I remember what I'd intended to do today.

I drop the duffel bag upon my armchair, and the plush thing groans in protest. But I pay it no mind.

I already have my phone and I stare at it nervously as I plop down upon my bed. 

Second thoughts and doubts begin to course through me, and I continue to stare at it. What if he doesn't answer me back? What if he doesn't want to see me after yesterday?

With every second that passes I feel a little less sure about my decision. Ultimately, I decide that maybe things are better this way. But the second I decide to put my phone away, it begins to ring.

Hoseok is calling me, and I quickly attempt to tamp down my elation as I slide that little green phone icon to the right.

"Hello, " I blurt. "I was just thinking about you."

I want to smack myself for starting with that, but his resulting laughter is somehow worth it.

"Is that so?" He questions teasingly. "Good thoughts I hope?"

"Mhm, " I reply.

"Will wonders never cease?" He teases again, and I can't stop the answering giggle that escapes from my mouth.

"You might not want to be too surprised just yet."

This time, I am the one who is teasing. I can't blame Hoseok if he's surprised, because I am equally as flabbergasted. I can't remember the last time I'd actually teased someone flirtatiously.

Then again he hasn't gasped in shock yet, so maybe I'm not doing this right.

"The best is yet to come, " I finish lamely.

"Oh yeah?" He asks, curiosity filling his voice.

"I... Um... Well I..." I stammer, too embarrassed to get the words out now that it has come to this. 

Hoseok waits patiently for me to spit it out, though I'm sure that he is grinning on the other side of the phone. I can just picture it, beautiful lips spread across his face and exposing his pristinely white teeth. 

"Not helping, " I groan to myself as I attempt to tame my wild heartbeat.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me?" I mumble.

Confidence has never been my strong suit.

It certainly doesn't help that the other end of the phone has gone silent, leaving me to wonder if he heard me at all. Or maybe, he heard me, but is about to reject me. Maybe he called me to tell me that he's sorry about that near kiss, or maybe even to gush about a date with someone else.

It's unlikely, I remind myself, but not outside the realm of possibility.

"Really?" He asks softly. Too softly.

I steel myself for what I believe to be coming, trying to remind myself that, no matter what, I will not cry on the phone with him. But life is just so full of surprises lately, and Hoseok is no exception. Rather, I'd even venture to claim that he is the catalyst.

"I'm sorry, I'm just surprised," he answers, nearly breathless. "But I'd love to. Have anything you want to do?"

I feel my body relax, and realize that I must have tensed up. I think for a moment, about the kinds of things that I like to do, and about the things Hoseok might also enjoy. But I quickly realize that, aside from dance, I really don't have any other hobbies.

"I hadn't really thought that far ahead, " I reveal, embarrassment coloring my cheeks.

For a moment we are both silent, but then Hoseok speaks and the matter is settled.

"How about this? I'll pick you up at eight and our activity for the night will be a surprise."

"Alright, " I agree, excitement bubbling within me as the reality of it sets in.

"Great!" He exclaims, clearly just as excited as I am. "Dress up, but try to keep mobility and comfort in mind."

"Got it, " I reply.

"I can't wait, " he tells me, and I smile like a lunatic.

"Me either." And it's the truth. However mixed and confused I am, I am excited for this in a way I hadn't anticipated.

"I'll see you later. And Avelyn?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you, " he declares, "for giving me a chance."

We hang up, and I flop down and into a laying position upon my mattress. I fight the internal urge to squeal, and turn my attention instead to my wardrobe.

For a moment, I begin to panic. 

"What the hell am I supposed to wear to a date?" I question silently. "He said to dress up, but comfortably..."


	17. CHAPTER SIXTEEN

"So, he said to dress up but to aim for comfort and mobility too?" Jimin inquiries, thoughtfully pouring over the clothes stashed away in my wardrobe.

Not long after the realization that I had absolutely no clue what to wear, I'd given up and dragged Jimin from his bed. Of course, he'd been a little grumpy at first, but once I'd revealed what it was I needed he'd been only too happy to oblige.

He continues to ponder over our options, but I notice that his gaze keeps coming back to one piece in particular. I begin to panic internally, already certain that he's going to pick that little black dress.

After all, it'd been a gift from Jimin himself.

At the time, I told him that there was no way in hell I was ever going to wear it. After all, what reason did I ever have to dress up? 

"I'm not wearing that, " I declare, eyes widening as he reaches for the hanger that it's resting upon. "Anything but that."

"Well, " Jimin replies, "you don't have anything else that screams 'ravish me'."

I snort loudly.

"I'm not trying to scream 'ravish me', " I counter. "I've only barely even decided to try dating the guy. I'm not trying to hop into bed with him."

Jimin waves my complaint away in a manner entirely too nonchalant for my liking.

"Yes, but he did say to dress up, right? That's the point of dressing up."

He takes the dress from it's hanger and throws it at me. Then, he begins digging in the armoires drawers, clearly in search of something specific. I can't believe Jimin is digging around in my underwear drawer!

He begins to dig in earnest, and I am helpless but to stand by mortified.

"Really Avelyn?" He asks, holding up my favorite pair of underwear. "Granny panties? How is it that you don't own a single thong?"

I splutter in indignation.

"Well excuse me for valuing comfort."

His fingers curl around something, scraping at the bottom of the drawer, and he gives a triumphant shout as he flings that at my face too. Luckily, I catch it easily. The item turns out to be a pair of fishnets, and I stand there, gaping at him in surprise.

I hadn't even been aware that I owned a pair of these.

"Jimin, " I growl lowly in warning.

"Just trust me, okay?" He retorts. "Unless you've decided that you don't need my help after all."

I grumble to myself, but ultimately realize that I don't have much of a choice. Left to my own devices, I would probably show up in sweat pants and a T-shirt. Ideal for working out, but definitely not appropriate for a first date.

I gulp. Thinking about it that way has me feeling some kind of green, and belatedly, I wonder if Hoseok would be terribly disappointed if I called a rain check.

"Don't even think about it Avelyn, " Jimin warns, clearly having seen right through me. "You're going to put these on, and those red heels that you absolutely despise, and you are going to go out and have a blast with Hobi."

"Have a blast?" I screech, mortified by the fact that he wants me to wear those heels. "You're trying to kill me!"

"You don't give yourself enough credit, " he replies with a shrug of his shoulders. "But if you do die, at least you looked totally bangable."

I scowl, not in the least amused by his statement.

Jimin merely smirks annoyingly, and runs from the room as I attempt to bull rush him. He makes it out the door and then pops his head back in in order to stick his tongue out at me.

"Have fun!" He sing songs, then he yells as he retreats, "And try to be lady-like! While every man loves an animal, I don't think your performance at breakfast last week is the image they have in mind!"

"Jimin!" I shriek, completely embarrassed by his cruel words.

I have half a mind to storm out of here, cancel the whole thing, and drag Jimin by the ear to meet his maker.

But then, I remember how enthused Hoseok had sounded on the phone and my breath catches in my throat. With jittery hands, I pull the dress up and turn to face the mirror. The black, strapless thing mocks me. I can't deny that a part of me is thrilled at the idea of looking good for Hoseok.

But it barely covers my ass, let alone my thighs. How exactly is this mobile?

Thankfully the skirt isn't skin tight, like the bodice, and instead is a lop-sided, beaded lace that puffs just ever so slightly. This means that it will move with my body, instead of riding up my body. But even so, if I raise my leg too high, someone is going to see my underwear.

It's odd, looking at my own blush covered face. The me that I am staring at looks frantic, and yet is somehow smiling like an idiot.

"I can do this, " I tell myself silently.


	18. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Hoseok leads me through a collision course of writhing bodies, the smell of sweat and booze heavy in the air. Lights, in a multi-chromatic display, flash above our heads and coat the world in neon. And the music beats down loudly upon us, making it impossible to hear a thing.

The dancing crowd pushes against us. If not for our connected hands I'm certain we would already have lost one another. Every so often, he stops and looks back to check on me, smiling brightly. I feel like a deer in the headlights every time he looks at me like that, and something within me aches to see it again.

We make it to the bar, where Hoseok pulls a seat out for me, before claiming one directly to my left. Everything is a little quieter here, as far away from the mass of bodies, flashing lights, and frenzied DJ as one can get. 

"A bottle of Coconut Rum please, " He tells the bartender, pushing forward his card as he settles in his seat. "The good stuff."

The bartender smiles curiously, but carries out Hoseok's request nonetheless. Because she is so short she has to grab the ladder to reach it, but when her fingers wrap around the intended bottle she flashes a smile in Hoseok's direction. 

"This one's the best we've got, " she beams, hopping down from the final rung of the ladder.

She hands him the bottle and two shot glasses, winks rakishly, and then hurries away to tend to the other customers.

"That pixie of a girl is Sofia, she's an old friend of mine." He reveals, smiling conspiratorially. "Don't let that angelic smile fool you, she's a real monster."

"I heard that Hoseok!" She yells from across the bar.

I giggle, pulling a chuckle from his throat in turn. 

"You come here often?" I ask teasingly.

"I used to, " He replies.

Though he is still smiling, I can tell that there is more to his statement, because the light from his smile no longer reaches his eyes. For a split second, I'm certain that I see him make a pained expression.

He removes the top from the bottle and pours it into the two separate glasses.

"I don't really drink, " I tell him.

"Tonight you do, " Hoseok replies, suddenly bright and cheerful once more. "Tonight you're here to let me show you what fun looks like."

I finger the glass's rim warily. It's been a while since I drank, and I'm not sure what my tolerance levels will be like tonight. Do I persist in my refusal? Or do I trust Hoseok not to let me get completely wasted, and take a leap of faith?

"Just one shot, " I mumble apprehensively.

And then, the glass is upon my lips, and the creamy liquid down my throat. There is a minor burn, but the taste of the alcohol is nearly entirely hidden by the sweet taste of coconut.

Hoseok eyes me appreciatively, awaiting my reaction.

"It's good right?" He queries hopefully.

"Very, " I reply.

The libation slides smoothly down my throat, and yet, I still feel the warmth of alcohol in my belly as he pours me another.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you're trying to get me drunk." I tease.

And then I throw that shot back too.

"Maybe I am, " he counters saucily. "Who can say?"

I smile in response to his own cheerful grin.

Together, we finish the entire bottle. I'll admit that I feel a little hazy, but not entirely drunk as he leads me onto the dance floor.

The heavy, rhythmic beat surrounds us. And as Hoseok begins to move behind me, my body naturally wants to move as well. It's as if nothing else in the room exists but Hoseok, and I am hyper aware of his body as it moves boldly against mine.

We sway to the music, each of us wrapped up in the beat and the feel of each other. I've forgotten all about any reservations I'd had, and for the first time that I can remember in such a long time, I simply let go.

I revel in the feel of his skin against mine, and one song fades into another, and another. Before long, we are so immersed in each other that we barely even hear the music.

I don't think there is even a single fraction of an inch between us, and I am suddenly struck with the urge to see his face. Is he as affected by this as I am?

I spin around, and although Hoseok is definitely surprised by this, he doesn't miss a beat. He gathers me into his arms forcefully, and I allow him to drape me backwards and over his arm, trusting that he won't drop me.

The moment is so intense, as he stares into my very soul with hooded eyes. 

"Kiss me, " I blurt.

Hoseok's eyes widen for a fraction of a second, but then, he surges forward with determination. His lips claim mine possessively, and I nearly moan into the kiss. And when I reach forward, lacing my fingers through his ebony hair, he too groans.

He pulls me upright, and for a moment our lips disconnect and I am left wanting. But Hoseok clearly doesn't wish to stop anymore than I do, already setting his lips back upon mine.

Around us, hundreds of bodies are trapped in perpetual movement. But it seems as if time itself slows as he consumes me, body and soul. Prying my lips open with his own, he proceeds to snake his tongue inside.

He tastes like mint and coconut, and I simply can't get enough.

When we finally pull apart we are both breathing laboriously. His skin is as heated as I imagine mine must be, and there is a part of me, not as minor as I might wish, that wants to take this back home and see just how well Hoseok can work me.

But then, he smiles at me sweetly, eyes sparkling with genuine joy, and I realize that this is worth being cautious about.

"That was wonderful, " he sighs, arms coming to rest around my body.

We begin to sway to the music lazily, ignoring the fast tempo that is driving the rest of the club in favor of calming our rapidly beating hearts.

"It was perfect, " I reply, wrapping my own arms around him in turn, and then snuggling my face into his chest. "I can't wait to do it again."


	19. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

It isn't until late in the morning that we finally leave the dance club. The air feels cool against our sweat-slicked skin, and I could even swear that there are tendrils of smoke wafting off of us.

We stroll down the side-walk, unabashedly hand in hand as we talk, though I'll be the first to admit that my gait is somewhat staggered.

These heels are absolutely killing me, and the extra sway added by my minor inebriation isn't helping.

"What did you want to be when you were a kid?" I ask, smiling at the way our fingers are laced together. "Did you always want to be a dancer?"

Hoseok chuckles, and squeezes my hand tightly within his own.

"No, " he says, eyes twinkling merrily. "I wanted to be all kinds of things. In fact, I really wanted to be a super hero at one point."

I laugh mirthfully at his reply, and he simply grins back.

"I like that, " I say. "It suits you. Hobi the superhero."

"That nickname again?" He grouses playfully. "And from you?"

He holds his hand to his heart, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk so dramatically that people stop and look. This time, the laughter that bursts forth from within me is nothing like the paltry giggles I'd been giving out earlier.

I'm so taken aback with surprise at his antics that I can't stop chuckling heartily. Clutching my stomach, I almost fall over. If not for Hoseok keeping me steady with that goofy grin on his face, I would fall over entirely.

"Oh my goodness, " I cry, literally wiping tears of joy from my face. "I don't even know why it's so funny!"

At this point Hoseok is laughing right along with me, and several curious passerbys have stopped to full on stare.

"It's my superpower!" He answers, still chuckling as he speaks.

As we wind down, I become aware of his smile in a way that knocks the air right out of my lungs. He's beaming at me so earnestly, and so brightly. It's as if that smile has the power to chase away all the darkness and the hurt. With just one expression he's capable of turning me into complete jello, because I can't help but to bask in it's radiance.

On impulse, I grab the collar of his shirt and yank him towards me. He back-pedals comically for a moment, eyes wide open in alarm, before going limp in shock as my lips claim his. I can hear the sounds of people whistling in the background as I pull away, eyes alight with the sort of fire I've never experienced before.

"Hey!" One man shouts. "Aren't you gonna kiss her back?"

"Yeah my dude!" Yells another. "Don't leave her hanging!"

Hoseok's blush mirrors my own, but there is something in his eyes that I havn't seen in him before. He smirks, obsidian eyes murky with desire as he palms my face lovingly.

"You heard them, " I whisper, body suddenly too filled with adrenaline to speak.

My eyes flutter shut on their own in anticipation of the feeling of those lips against mine once more. And my breath hitches in my throat, I nearly moan, as I feel his breath upon my lips. It tingles, and sends that electricity throughout. 

His lips finally descend upon mine, slow, and sweet. He tastes like seduction, and feels like a dream. My fingertips begin to roam, ghosting across the skin of his biceps, and he shudders against me. Like iron, he grips me, in an embrace somehow so very tender. I melt into the side-walk.

The sounds of cheering is what snaps me back to reality, and I blush as several cat-calls and various other lewd statements fill my ears. But before long the crowd is clearing away, returning to us the privacy that we'd squandered.

Hoseok releases me, and clears his throat awkwardly. Again, he is blushing just as furiously as I am, and I am enchanted. Stiffly, he grabs my hand once more, and begins to lead me away.

He keeps pulling at his pants as we walk, and from what I can surmise, this is not the direction to my home.

For a moment I balk, not sure if I'm ready to go home with Hoseok. But there is a part of me that really wants to, I won't lie. And if his disheveled gait is anything to go by, this will definitely be heading in that direction.

"Fuck it, " I vow silently. "If only for tonight, let's not think about tomorrow."

Instead, I embrace this wild spark, and allow Hoseok to lead me all the way to what must be his home. Graffiti lines the walls to either side of us, some masterful, and some simply squiggles upon the rust colored brick. I feel a sort of apprehension creep in, and I have to wonder just how far we've walked.

He leads me to a door, tucked away from the road and accessible via the space between his building, and the next. There, we find a set of stairs that lead us up and into a stairwell. We follow it for two stories before exiting the stair well, and out into a hallway with a multitude of doors.

His door, apparently, is the first after exciting the stair well. My hands tremble as he leads me to it, and as he fumbles with his keys I prepare myself for the worst.

Only to feel like an ass as he ushers me inside.

Though small, the place is impeccably neat and tidy. 

"Sorry, " Hoseok mumbles quietly. "It's just a studio."

"Hoseok!" I exclaim softly. "It's really nice in here!"

I eye the day-bed with appraisal. It certainly looks more comfortable than my bed, and it's pillows, dressed in multitude of dark and light blues, look so fluffy.

The rest of the furniture is almost rustic, and yet, there is the occasional modern touch that leaves me wondering whether or not Hoseok decorated this place on his own.

"I mean it, " I tell him, turning around to face him directly. "I like it!"

He smiles at me, and I realize that no matter how many times he smiles at me like that, I'll probably never get used to the way it makes my heart pound.

I allow him to lead me to his bed, but to my surprise, instead of joining me immediately he begins to scurry about.

First, he lights a candle before setting it down gingerly upon his end table. And then, he's rummaging around in his end tables drawer. I'm so sure that he's locating a condom, that I am more than a little surprised when all he pulls out is a citrus-scented massage oil.

"You dragged me to your house for a massage?" I say, voice ringing with a pinch of disappointment.

"Why?" He asks saucily. "Where you hoping for something else?"


	20. CHAPTER NINETEEN

"What time did you even get home last night?" Jimin questions enthusiastically. 

I have been seated at the breakfast table for the last five minutes, and Jimin has only just now joined me.

"I didn't, actually."

"Holy shit!" Jimin exclaims, clapping both hands against the side of his face in theatrical shock. "You actually got laid!"

"Nope, " is my reply. "Almost did, but Hoseok didn't want to push things too far."

I have to admit that I appreciate it. Last night we developed some kind of... Trust between us. A trust that could easily have been shattered by jumping into bed together on the first date.

And yet, I would have let him. Internally, I am screaming. This is big. The fact that I actually desire him shows just how far under my skin I've allowed him to get.

I'd forgotten how heady it can all feel.

I feel as if I am riding a high, so I smile easily despite the way Jimin gapes at me as if I were some kind of alien.

"So..." Jimin trails, brain clearly still processing what he might say next. "Dare I push my luck and ask how it went?"

I expected the glib jests. But Jimin is looking at me with such sincerity. Though he might try his best to deny it, whenever he worries he has a tendency of furrowing his brows ever so slightly. I can see that tiny crinkle now, and it only confirms what I already knew.

Jimin is worried about me.

But, unlike before, where I'd done my best to ignore his worries, I find myself touched. I know that I haven't been the easiest person to live with lately, and regardless of that Jimin has continued to stick around, even going so far as to force his company upon me. I've been too afraid to let anyone in for a while now, and I've been so unfair.

"It was perfect." I tell him.

I stand up, suddenly besieged by a desire to make things right.

"Let's go do something today, " I announce gleefully. "All of us!"

Jimin stares at me dumbfounded for a few moments, but then, a grin begins to spread upon his cherubic face and I can't help but to chuckle in response. 

Jimin veritably flees from the kitchen, if life were an animated film, there'd be only dust left in his wake. I begin to hear the sounds of shouting from upstairs, Jimin's voice accompanied by the voices belonging to each of our roommates.

Before long I begin to hear the sounds of hurried footsteps shuffling about, and the sound of doors being opened. I smile to myself and make my way to the stairwell in order to greet everyone properly.

Jimin is the first to descend, followed closely by Jin and Jeonguk. Namjoon and Yoongi shuffle along behind, staggering down the steps as if they weren't already dressed for the day.

Which they are, by the way.

"So what do you want to do today?" Jimin asks excitedly, bouncing up and down on the ball of his feet in anticipation.

I frown slightly. I hadn't thought that far ahead. Seems to be a recurring issue with me lately. Though, to be fair, it's been ages since I did something simply for the fun of it.

"Why don't we go out to eat?" Jeonguk pipes in.

"Yes! " Jin adds excitedly.

"Why don't you call and invite Hoseok?" Jimin asks, smiling brightly.

I don't even need to think about it, and instead answer right off the bat.

"Sure."

So as the boys all pile into the car, Yoongi grumbling in irritation at having been woken on a Sunday, I pull out my phone and give Hoseok a call.

It barely even rings before he picks up, and his voice sounds entirely chipper.

"What's up?" 

"The guys and I are going out to eat, and we were wondering if you'd like to join us." I state calmly.

But inside my stomach is doing summersaults and churning almost painfully.

"I'd love to!" He enthuses. "Should I meet you guys there?"

"Hey!" I yell to Jin who is fumbling with his keys. "Should we have Hoseok meet us there? Where are we even going?"

"How's pizza sound?" Jin inquires.

Hoseok waits patiently all around while murmurs of approval fill the car.

"Pizza it is, " Jin affirms. Then, turning back to look at me he says, "we'll pick Hoseok up, we might as well try this hole in the wall pizza parlor I recently heard about. I just need the address."

I turn my attention back to Hoseok still waiting patiently on the other end of the phone.

"Jin says we'll pick you up." I inform him. "We just need your address."

"What, " Jimin teases from beside me, "you don't remember it from last night?"

Jeonguk snickers from behind as I elbow Jimin sharply.

"Ow!" He hollers. "That was my ribs!"

I frown at him, and he hushes real quick.

"Alright, " Hoseok replies. "I'll text you the address. I can't wait to see you!"

I blush brightly, smiling once more despite the shocked faces of my roommates.

"I look forward to it, " I reply awkwardly.

I hang up, and just as I do my phone pings, alerting me to a text from Hoseok. I tap on the address listed in the text, and choose the option for searching it via Google maps.

The GPS display fills my phone screen, and I hand it off to Namjoon who sits in the passengers seat.

"Everyone buckled?" Jin queries, one hand on the wheel and the other positioned on the stick that will place the car in reverse.

"Yes, mom!" Jeonguk sasses.

Though I can't see it, I'm fairly certain he is rolling his eyes. It's proven by the way he suddenly yelps, and Yoongi's gravelly voice being added to the mix.

"Show some respect, punk." He warns lowly. "Safety first, right?"

"But Yoongi, you're not even buckled!" Jeonguk yells indignantly, followed by another loud shout of pain.


	21. CHAPTER TWENTY

"Yo! Hoseok!" Jimin shouts excitedly, greeting him from the other side of me as Hoseok hops into the still vacant seat to my right.

"Hey, " Hoseok replies easily, smiling cheerfully as he buckles in. "How you been man?"

In the back-seat Jeonguk snickers quietly at Hoseok's thick accent. He yelps suddenly, once again, and I know that he just got another master-Min elbow to the ribs. 

"What?!" He exclaims loudly. "The guys a literal ball of sunshine, and his voice is hilarious!"

"You know what else is hilarious?" Jin suddenly chips in. "Your grades. Try mastering English yourself before you talk, someone might listen."

"But Jin-"

"Don't." Jin warns. "I will pull this car over."

Jeonguk sulks quietly in the back-seat and I shudder to think of what is going through his brain. He's probably already scheming a revenge plan.

"No, it's fine." Hoseok chirps, still smiling just as brightly as ever. "I really don't mind. If I can't laugh at myself then I'm probably taking life too seriously."

"Whoa!" Jimin blurts, starstruck as he gazes upon Hoseok with admiration. "What an awesome life philosophy!"

"You know though, " Hoseok declares, pride flaring to life beneath Jimin's compliment, and turns in his seat to face Jeonguk with, suddenly, a face that is far more serious than any I've seen him wear before. "I could probably dance circles around you."

"Oh!" Yoongi cries, "Would you like some ice for that burn?"

Jin laughs, nearly missing the stop light and pissing off this poor elderly lady who now stands, wide-eyed in the middle of the street as if she'd just had a heart attack. Everyone is suddenly transfixed, all eyes forward as we watch the exchange.

"Hey!" She shouts angrily, flipping us the bird unsteadily with one hand as she continues, leaning heavily upon her walker. "I'm walking here!"

The tips of Seokjin's ears turn bright pink, and he rolls down his window to apologize profusely. The lady looks at him as if he's grown another head, and, mollified by his enthusiastic apologies, continues on her path across the street.

So. Slowly.

"Dude, you're on!" Jeonguk shouts suddenly.

I blink, confused as to what's going on now, brain already having moved on after witnessing the scene before us.

"Let's do it!" Hoseok exclaims, grinning evilly as he turns to face Jeonguk once more. 

"That might not be a good idea," I advise doubtfully. "Jeonguk is actually a really good dancer."

As Jin turns on his blinker, preparing to turn left and into the strip mall's parking lot, Jeonguk howls gleefully.

"You won't beat me. I never lose a challenge!"

"It's true, " Namjoon mutters lowly, "He hasn't, for as long as we've known him."

"Yeah?" I retort, smiling evilly myself. "Well, there's a first time for everything isn't there?"

I turn to face Hoseok, and he gives a little appreciative nod of his head.

"You know what, Hoseok?" I proclaim gleefully. "Whoop him good."

Jeonguk splutters in indignation behind us as Jin parks the car. 

"Alright, " Jin says. "But there's gotta be rules. We'll judge obviously."

He gestures to each of us, indicating that those not participating should judge.

"And we'll do it later tonight." Jin adds thoughtfully. "Right now I just wanna get some food in my system."

"Why don't we go dancing?" I ask. 

And though Jimin, Jeonguk, Hoseok, and Jin are enthusiastically on board, Yoongi and Namjoon are not. Namjoon grumbles quietly to himself, though obviously displeased, and Yoongi straight up swears in the backseat.

"Nuh-uh!" Jeonguk shouts, all too pleased with himself. "What was that about respect earlier-"

Jeonguk howls in pain all of a sudden and I realize that I'm really not sure I want to know why.

Jeonguk, completely disregarding normal protocol in regards to exiting a minivan, nearly jumps to the door. Meanwhile, Jimin's whole ass is all up in my face as he too ignores common courtesy in favor of beating us to the door.

Hoseok turns his face in my direction, trying his best to avoid Jimin's rather plump derriere. He grins at me mischievously as Jimin pauses in front of us, fighting and bickering with Jeonguk over the door handle.

Leaning forward, he places a chaste kiss upon my nose. The smile he gives me is saccharine, sweet beyond compare, and I melt in my seat. All thoughts vanish, and my brain completely forgets about Jimin and everyone else in the car. 

"Children!" Jin yells, and all falls silent.

Jimin and Jeonguk freeze entirely, door clicking open as they stare at Jin wide eyed and waiting. Seokjin gives them the eye, and they step out of the car instantly calm. Hoseok exits, and then turns around to offer me his hand.

I blush as I take it, and Jimin and Jeonguk whistle loudly in the background.

He helps me out of the car, where I discover that Jin and Namjoon have already stepped out and made a beeline for the door. Yoongi is, of course, the last to exit the car. He wears a self-satisfied grin as Jeonguk scurries to the door, clearly remembering whatever it was that Yoongi had done to him in the backseat.

Yoongi catches up to the others at about the same time that Hoseok and I do.

"So, " Jimin needles, inserting himself in between Hoseok and I and wrapping his arms around our necks casually. "Are you two, like, a couple now?"

Jimin looks at us expectantly, and suddenly, so does everyone else. 

Hoseok too, eyes me for a second, before opening his mouth and beating me to the punch.

"Not yet, " he replies easily. "But I think we will be soon."

Hoseok smiles so gently at me, that my heart thumps painfully in my chest. And for just a moment, I nearly forget to breathe. I smile back.

Jimin whoops and hollers, excited by this change. The other boys smile, and as we walk through the doors, I don't shy away when Hoseok enfolds my smaller hand into his own.


	22. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

"This is delicious." Jin sighs dreamily.

He takes another bite of pizza and groans in contentment.

"Do you have to make those sounds?" Yoongi complains, eying Jin with irritation. "Makes eating kind of uncomfortable."

Jin swallows before fixing Yoongi with a serene smile.

"That sounds like a you problem, " he replies.

Yoongi scowls grumpily, but continues to munch anyway. 

"It's been a while since we did something all together like this, " Namjoon says, changing the topic entirely. "What brought this on anyway?"

I blush, a beet kind of red, and swallow my current bite of pizza hastily.

"Does it really matter?" Jimin asks playfully, trying to take the attention away from me.

Though I can always count on Jimin to meddle and tease, sometimes he can be really observant. Despite his efforts, however, everyone continues to look at me quizzically. I'm sure that each of them are probably wondering the same thing. After all, this is not normal behaviour on my part.

I sigh, and steel myself, determined to say what I should have a long time ago.

"You know I love you guys, right?" I fidget nervously with my napkin, staring at the floor in embarrassment. "I know I don't say it often enough, but I really do. You guys are like family to me."

Jimin smiles brightly, as does Jin and Hoseok. Jeonguk is wearing a shit eating grin, and Namjoon's smile is gentle. 

Yoongi is the first to respond, and I can't help bit to smile at his words.

"Right back at you, " he says, and then shoves his mouth.

Jin simply shakes his head, eyes full of questions that he doesn't ask. Jimin begins to chat animatedly with Jeonguk, and Namjoon preoccupied himself with his food.

"I'm proud of you, " Hoseok tells me softly, turning away from his plate to face me with an earnestly painted expression. 

I smile, touched by his sincerity.

"Not really much to be proud of, " I reply teasingly. "But thank you nonetheless."

His hand under the table seeks out my own, enticing his fingers with mine effortlessly. And as his thumb gently caresses the back of my hand, I sigh in contentment. 

"What's wrong?" Jin asks between bites. "Is the pizza not to your liking?"

I smile and shake my head.

"Nothing's wrong, " I reply easily. "I'm very content right now."

The rest of our meal passes relatively uneventfully. And before long the bill is paid, and we are marching out the door excitedly.

"Any ideas on where we should go?" Jin asks, sliding into the driver's seat fluidly.

"I know a place, " Hoseok pipes up as he buckles in. Turning to face Jeonguk, he adds, "still not too late to change your mind though."

Jeonguk chuckles heartily, amused by Hoseok's confidence.

"And why would I want to do that? Sure you're not getting cold feet?"

Hoseok's responding smile is almost evil, and the light in his eyes only intensifies.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." He replies, still grinning.

I have to admit that I'm excited. I haven't actually seen Hoseok dance. Last night I'd been far too intent on the way he'd felt to take any sort of notice about the way he'd moved, but I do at least remember that he is an excellent dancer with a wonderful sense of rhythm. 

It should be a treat to sit back and watch him.

It barely even seems as if we've started the car, and yet we are suddenly pulling into the parking lot for the very same club he'd taken me to last night. For a moment my confusion is heightened by the fact that the sun has all but disappeared, allowing the night clubs lights to penetrate the dark around us.

I can hear the music from inside the car, as none of us have opened our doors yet. Joonie looks a little green in the gills, and, if the string of curses flying from Yoongi's mouth are any indication, he is none too pleased either.

"You know, " Namjoon sulks, "I'd really been hoping you guys were joking about this. Does no one remember the last time we went dancing?"

Jimin shudders beside me and I can hear Jeonguk nearly retch in the back seat.

"Yo!" he yells, blasting my eardrums in the process as he leans forward in order to have Namjoon hear him properly over the thudding base emanating from the clubs doors. "I think we'd all rather not be reminded of that night, for multiple reasons."

I can't help but find their antics amusing. And I can tell by the way Hoseok's eyes sparkle that he finds them funny too. 

"He fits right in with the rest of us, " I muse silently. "Almost as if he belongs with us."

This time we exit the car a little more gracefully. Of course, Jeonguk has to nearly drag Yoongi from the car, but I digress.

Once we are inside Yoongi and Namjoon make a beeline for the bar, followed closely by Jimin and Jin. Jimin's licentious eyes scan the crowd for pretty girls as he navigates his way to the bar and I roll my eyes.

I swear that man is in need of an intervention.

But Jeonguk and Hoseok are clearly too pumped about their little contest to think of any thing else, and I find myself making my way to join the other's at the bar on my lonesome.

Not that I mind, their enthusiasm is adorable.

It isn't difficult to find a seat, seeing as Jimin has saved me one. I slide into said seat eagerly, but once I have done so I realize something. From here it'll be nearly impossible to see Jeonguk and Hoseok, and it seems that Jin too has noticed this.

"Why don't we move over there?" He shouts, attempting to make his voice heard over the music as he points to a booth relatively close to a nearly empty spot of dance floor.

Everyone who is dancing seems to have congregated in the very middle of the floor. I nod in agreement.

We all get up at once, and make our way to the booth. Jeonguk is first to notice the area to which we are migrating, and he grabs Hoseok by the arm, dragging him over to where we are headed.

"So, " Jeonguk taunts, eyes aflame with what I'm sure he considers already to be his assured victory. "You ready to get stomped?"

"I believe, " Hoseok replies smugly, eyes equally aflame as we all settle in our seats, "that is my line."


	23. CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

"So, " Jin hollers over the ruckus around us, "this is how it's gonna work. Each of you will take a turn, and the round will last only for the duration of one song. At the end, we will all vote on who is better."

"What about rules?" I inquire thoughtfully.

Jin taps his chin in thought. 

"Honestly, " he replies, "I don't see the need for any other rules than just one. No sabotage."

"In other words, " Jeonguk smirks smugly, "I'm not allowed to trip you. Never intended to though, so it's all good. I prefer to win fair and square."

Hoseok laughs merrily, eyes twinkling mischievously and with confidence. But it seems that the time for trash talk has ended, for each of them take a deep breath, waiting for the the current song to end.

"Wait!" I exclaim, breaking the mood entirely. "Who will go first and how will they know when their turn is over?"

"That's easy, " Hoseok answers. "Jeonguk can go first. As for how we'll know when to switch, that's also a no brainer. I'll take whatever time Jeonguk gives me."

He looks boldy at Jeonguk, and delivers one more diss.

"Consider it a handicap."

Jeonguk frowns, but brushes the comment off. I rush from my seat, and dare to leave a small peck upon Hoseok's cheek before beating it back to my seat. Their eyes harden as the current beat ends, and within a fraction of a second after the next songs begins, Jeonguk is moving.

He starts strong, clearly already in tune with the music. Even so, you can see the wheels turning behind Jeonguk's hardened gaze, can tell he's thinking about what to do next.

It is with practiced ease that he moves, body twisting and turning, and I struggle to find any flaws. But, by the time he's stopped, starting at Hoseok daringly, I have to admit once more that Jeonguk really is a phenomenal dancer.

However, as Hoseok begins to move, I am forced to conclude that Jeonguk is still fundamentally lacking, much like me. Hoseok isn't just in tune with the music.

He is the music.

Or at the very least, a literal representation of it. There is nothing but raw determination and cocky satisfaction in his gaze, no tells to suggest that this is rehearsed. The way that he moves is so disjointed, and yet somehow so fluid and natural, and I find myself salivating just a tad.

"Really?" I ask myself. "I'm literally slobbering!"

Of course throughout his impromptu performance, for that's what this truly feels like, he continues to stare directly into my eyes, and I feel more than a little on edge as a result.

I'm almost afraid to breathe, and break whatever hypnotism has enthralled me. And, as if to prove me correct, the second I deign to catch my breath, it's over.

"Well, " Jin says, clearing his throat with no small amount of effort. "That was..."

"Wow..." Jimin interrupts, "that was awesome!"

Jeonguk claps Hoseok jovially on the shoulder as a sense of camaraderie fills us all. 

"Alright, " Jin announces, "those who wish to vote for Jeonguk, raise your hand!"

Surprisingly, Yoongi is the only one to raise his hand. Although I get the feeling that it was done more out of sympathy, knowing Yoongi.

He always comes across as super prickly, and can be rather difficult to warm up to. But once you do, you come to realize that he's actually a big softie, and can even be a bit of a goofball at times. Hell, he's actually a really great listener, believe it or not. Second only to Jin, if I'm to be completely honest.

Mostly because, unlike Jin, you can count on Yoongi to be brutally honest at all times. 

"Hoseok?" Jin yells.

All of our hands shoot up and into the air.

We all whoop and holler, and I leap up with the others to crowd around Jeonguk and Hoseok.

"Congrats man, " Jeonguk says, firmly hugging Hoseok who returns the hug with an added smile. "Where'd you learn to dance like that?"

As they release each other, Hoseok replies.

"I think that's a story for another time."

He takes me hand, and leads me back to the booth. While helping me in, he leans over, and places his own chaste peck against more forehead, before straightening up once more.

"I'll be right back, " he says gently.

I smile, and watch as he rushes off towards the bar. Jimin slides into the seat before me, smiling brightly as he takes in my flushed cheeks and dreamy gaze.

"I'm happy for you, " he says. "This seems to be going well. You two really are great together."

I frown, for a moment recalling Hoseok's own admission earlier today.

"We're not a couple yet, " I remind him somberly.

"Yes, but you want to be. Don't you?" Jimin wheedles, still smiling despite the sudden difference in my mood.

I nod, because I haven't the courage to admit it aloud. But Jimin understands, and I am immensely grateful that he does. In fact he seems to understand a great deal more, because, though still smiling, Jimin's eyes have gone gentle and soft.

"Trust me Avelyn, " he reassures me. "You'll see. I'm sure that Hoseok will be good to you."

Not even a moment after the words have left his lips, Hoseok returns, drinks in hand. They both look equally fruity, and equally scrumptious. I admire the garnishes, cherries and pineapples, as he hands it to me before sliding gracefully into the seat next to me.

"Thank you, " I smile as he does, and Jimin clears his throat awkwardly.

"Well, " he announces suddenly. "I think it's about time I mingle. See you later!"

He slides from the booth and confidently slips into the crowd, which has begun to push ever closer to our booth.

"Alone at last, " Hoseok sighs dreamily.

One hand seeks hold of my jaw, the other my hand. He leans forward and kisses me properly, no simple peck this one. Though slow and sweet there is something far greater simmering just beneath the surface of this feeling he has incited within me.

And when he pulls away, my own hand reaches up, almost as if on it's own accord, so that I may gently stroke his face.

"I like you, " I confess, eyes boring into his own in search of his own confession.

Or lack thereof.

But his eyes are like steel traps, hidden beneath a layer of obvious affection is another emotion that I cannot decipher.

"I like you too, " he murmurs softly. "But was that ever in question?"


	24. CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

"So..." I begin awkwardly, stirring my drink lazily between sips. "You don't seem to have any problem kissing me now..."

He starts, nearly choking upon his drink. We've both been rather silent for a moment, and I'm sure he wasn't expecting me to speak. 

"I was wondering when you were gonna ask about that, " Hoseok replies, rubbing the back of his neck, apparently feeling just as awkward as I am at having it brought up.

"I was afraid I'd done something wrong, " I state lowly, dropping my gaze, unable to face the look that I fear seeing upon his face.

"Hey, " he coos, voice soothing and soft as he lifts my face up by my chin with gentle fingers. "That wasn't it at all, I promise you."

"So why didn't you kiss me then?" My voice is unsteady, and though I try my best to hide it, I'm still afraid of his answer.

"You'd said you only wanted to be friends, " he reveals softly. "And I wanted to respect your boundaries."

So Jin was right after all.

I smile, relieved and encouraged by his confession. 

"Thank you, " I murmur softly.

The look that he gives me is so soft, so tender, that my heart can't help but beat wildly in my chest. His hand rises to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ears, and his eyes search my own, gently probing. It's as if he's searching for something, and whatever it is, I think he finds it.

"I'd really like to make you my girl, " he whispers, face inching closer, and closer, until our lips are but a hair's breadth apart. "Won't you be mine?"

"I want to, " I whimper, more desirous for that pair of lips with every second that passes. 

"So is that a yes?"

His breath meets my cheek, and sends shivers down my spine as a result. I gulp audibly, suddenly feeling uneasy.

"I... Well..." I stutter, and Hoseok's face falls, clearly taking it as a rejection. 

I panic internally, and indecision gnaws away at me. Do I say yes? Am I ready? If I say no, will he still stick around? But...

"I want to, " I remind myself.

"I will, " I announce resolutely, turning away in a desperate bid to hide my flush.

"It's a yes then?" He asks eagerly, seeking clarification amidst my strange behaviour.

"Yes." I blurt, still blushing profusely.

Hoseok hollers in excitement, and I smile bashfully. 

He gets up, and grabs hold of my hand in order to pull me up as well. Nearly bouncing with giddy excitement, his smile is infectious. We laugh together as we dash across the dancefloor in search of the other boys.

We find Jimin first, easily distinguished from the crowd by the group that has gathered before him. Gaggles of girls will always stop and stare whenever Jimin dances, and I'd be willing to bet that he already has his next snack picked out from amongst them.

"We'll tell him later, " I suggest, eyes already spotting an alternative target, and one whose presence I could quite possibly need most right now.

I begin to drag Hoseok towards Jin, who follows along willingly and enthusiastically. Jin watches us approach with mirth and barely concealed excitement.

"She said yes!" Hoseok exclaims as we near. 

"Congratulations!" Jin enthuses.

"Jeez, " Jeonguk cuts in, arriving suddenly and pitching in his two cents. "It's not like you guys are getting married or anything, it's not that big a deal."

I frown, but then grin misheciously, "remind me when the last time was that you had a girlfriend? But I suppose that isn't a big deal either."

Jeonguk turns vibrantly pink, clearly embarrassed.

"I've had a girlfriend!" He defends a little too anxiously. "I've had tons of girlfriends!"

Jin is the first to bust out laughing, followed closely by myself. Hoseok just seems confused, unable to recognize what a joke it was that Jeonguk just told

"That's a fat lie!" Jin sequels, slapping his knees like some kind of out if control grandfather. "Boyfriends, maybe, but Guk, you're terrified of women!"

"Jin..." He whines.

"Hey guys, " Namjoon cuts in suddenly. "I can't find Yoongi or Jimin. I think they went home."

"What time is it even?" Jin asks, coming down from his laughter induced high at the mention of someone possibly missing, and prompting Namjoon to check his wristwatch.

"Eleven p.m, " Joonie answers, even as he pushes the frame of his glasses up with his index finger. 

"Jimin probably went home with someone else tonight, " I deduce, "But I don't know about Yoongi. Shouldn't we look for him one more time? Or maybe call him?"

Namjoon's lips twitch, and then form a soft sound of surprise.

"I don't know why I didn't think of that, " Namjoon admits. "Cellphones. Right."

He turns away, digging into his pockets in search of his cellular device. 

Facing Jin once more, I yawn, suddenly feeling the weight of today's events.

"I'm really tired. Do you mind if I head home ahead of you guys?" I inquire softly, rubbing my eyes as Hoseok steadies me with his shoulder.

"My home is closer, " he interjects. "You look like you're about to drop."

I nod, suddenly barely alert enough to reply.

"That sounds like a good idea, " Jin supplies in agreement. "Text me when you've got her safely to your home."

Hoseok then guides me gently to the door, and onto the curb, where he quickly hails a taxi.

He helps me into the back seat, and I slide over as best I can with this sudden outburst of fatigue. Nearly immediately after, he is sliding in beside me. He first buckles me in, then, after fumbling with his own seatbelt, he leans forward in order to give the cab driver his address.

"You smell nice, " I tell him, snuggling into his shoulder.

He chuckles, and I listen, enchanted by the way it rattles around in my ear as a result of our proximity.

"I'm glad you think so, " he replies affectionately, nuzzling my head with his chin.

"Hush now, " he tells me. "I'll wake you up when we get there."

And just like that, I fall asleep.


	25. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I groan, bladder absolutely aching and near fit to burst. My head pounds, throbbing dully against my skull, and my breathing is uneven, ragged.

This is what wakes me.

I awake to realize that I am sprawled out in someone else's bed, and my searching hands find a lump of solid flesh in the bed beside me. I smile, remembering last nights events, and immediately recognize my surroundings.

Hoseok moves beside me, arms wrapping around me and pulling me closer. As my head rests upon his chest, he speaks.

"You okay?" He asks groggily. "Did you sleep well? You kind of passed out on me."

"Sorry, " I murmur, too busy appreciating his warmth to truly feel any remorse.

I don't know why it's so cold in here.

He turns on his side, dislodging from me entirely in order to actually look at me, face to face.

"That happen often?" He inquires, now awake and alert.

I shake my head. "No, it doesn't. I must have been majorly exhausted."

He tuts softly, "you might have been dehydrated. I'll go get you some water."

He rises from the bed, and retrieves a glass from the cupboards. He fills it quickly with water from the tap, but only after flicking a small button on the faucet to turn on what I presume to be a filter.

Crossing the small room quickly, he hands me the glass and then bends down to kiss my forehead.

"You seem a little feverish, " he worries aloud. "Maybe you should call in."

I huff in agreement. Though I would normally refuse, right now I feel so lethargic I can barely lift my head.

"Where's your phone?" He asks.

"Purse, " I reply softly, my voice barely a whisper of a wisp. I feel that if I have to speak too much more I might vomit, uneasiness churns in my gut.

He retrieves it, and then hands it to me.

I scan through my contacts, though it takes me a minute to locate my troupe leaders info. I shoot her a quick text, letting her know that I am sick and will not make it today.

Hoseok then takes my phone and places it beside the bed before tucking me in gently.

"I'm gonna go to the store real quick to grab some Tylenol, " he says, leaning over to stroke my hair lovingly. "I'm worried about your fever. I'll be right back though, okay?"

"Be safe, " I whimper, and he smiles beatifically in return.

"Don't worry about me, " he answers, "I'll be back before you wake up if you go back to sleep!"

As I close my eyes I can hear the sound of the front door, opening, and then closing. I hear the lock turn, and, secure in the knowledge that the door is locked, I pass back out.

By the time I come around once more, Hoseok has indeed returned, though he has yet to enter the building. I can hear him arguing heatedly with someone on the other side of the door, and realize he must be quarreling with someone on his doorstep.

I can't make out the words, but I can hear another masculine voice, one that doesn't belong to any of my boys, including Hoseok.

Sitting up, I rub my eyes groggily. I've barely even managed to open my eyes fully before Hoseok is scrambling through his front door, still bickering with whoever is on the other side.

That person tries to say something, but Hoseok cuts him off, slamming the door in his face. He glances over to the bed, noticing that I am awake, and starts.

"Did I wake you?" He asks softly, concern etched into his face. 

I shake my head. "You didn't, " I reply. "But who were you arguing with?"

"Ahh, " Hoseok sighs, "someone that I once thought of as a friend. But nevermind that."

He places a few grocery bags on the counter, and, after a flurry of activity, he hands me a glass of ginger ale and a couple of Tylenol.

"Take this, " he commands gently.

My hands tremble, but I manage to get the tiny pills into my mouth. 

"Are you hungry just yet?" Hoseok continues to put away, one by one, all of the items that he bought.

"Not right now, " I groan, melting back into the covers and laying on my side.

I hold my arms out, hoping that Hoseok will take the hint and join me in bed. He smiles, eyeing my gesture affectionately.

He climbs back into bed, wrapping his arms around me snuggly. As he lays upon his back, propping his head up with a pillow, I snuggle my face into his chest. For reasons that I'd almost rather not question, this is a huge comfort for me.

I can hear his heart beating beneath his ribs, can feel it pulse against his very flesh. It reminds me to breath, distracts me from my own rapid heartbeat. And his smell, that same citrus scent I'd initially noticed, clings to his body and clothes.

He's so warm.

Though I'd initially expect him to be constantly freezing, Hoseok seems to expell heat on a massive degree. 

"He's like a space heater, " I think to myself.

"Hey, " I whisper, still unable to maintain but the barest scratch of an utterance. "Can I ask you something?"

He hums gently, questioningly, the thrum of it vibrating within my ears.

"Why do you like me?" 

"I don't know that I can fully explain it, " he replies softly. "I just felt like we'd connect, if given half the chance."

"Do you think we jumped the gun?"

"No, " Hoseok says, smiling softly. "I think we're going to be just fine."

"I want to trust you, " I admit quietly. "I want to know more about you."

"And I don't want to rush you, " he counters, voice suddenly serious. "I want you to know that. I don't know what happened, but I know a closed heart when I see one."

He withdraws from our shared embrace, sitting up and looking at me somberly. I smile, touched by his concern, his genuine care.

"We can take things at your pace, " he vows. "I can be patient."

I pat the bed beside me, indicating that he should rejoin me.


	26. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The smell of something simmering, wafting through the air is what wakes me up this time. I lean over, watching as Hoseok stands over a pot of something that smells absolutely delicious while. The late evening sky shines it's dying rays through the only window and, smiling, I recall just how late we'd stayed up this morning.

We'd talked for hours before my bladder had finally forced me to seek relief. And then, we'd talked some more after. We watched together, as the shadows changed and morphed across the wall. All while sharing just a bit of ourselves, only a little at a time.

"That smells absolutely divine, " I announce, startling poor Hoseok who nearly jumps in his own skin. "What is it?"

"Samgyetang, " he answers. "Or at least a poor imitation of it. I'm nowhere near as good as my mom."

I stare at him, confused.

"What's Samgyetang?" I ask.

"Ah," He exclaims, "it's a chicken soup. Something my mom used to swear by."

"So kind of like chicken noodle?" I inquire further.

"Well, it's not really like chicken noodle soup, I should probably tell you that now. But yes. That's what I grew up eating in place of chicken noodle soup."

"I can't wait to try it, " and indeed, I've already started salivating.

My stomach rumbles loudly, adamantly informing me that it requires sustenance. Hoseok chuckles, and then, he is approaching with a bowl.

"Luckily you don't have to wait too long, " he says. "I figured you'd be hungry when you woke up. Just please keep in mind that I'm not nearly as proficient as Jin in the kitchen, okay?"

I have to admit, this is the first time I've ever seen a whole chicken in a bowl.

Hoseok watches, smiling gently as I reach for it. 

"It's delicious, " I confess after just one bite.

"It's a little on the salty side, " I inwardly muse. "Actually, it's really salty, there's no point in denying that."

But, even so, beneath all that salt there is a pleasant taste. So, I'm not entirely lying.

"It's nothing special, " he blushes, and I smile in response.

"Worth it, " I cheer silently, "if only to see that smile."

"I mean it, " I insist. "You shouldn't be so modest."

He looks so bashful, and yet clearly immensely pleased. 

"So, " he redirects, "how are you feeling? Any better?"

I nod, smiling happily. 

"I don't feel quite so lethargic and nauseated."

"I'm glad, " he smiles angelically. 

He studies me, eyes roving my appearance. It is not a lustful gaze, but rather, an inquisitive one. Almost as if he were taking stock.

He lifts and rests the back of his hand against my forehead.

"You don't feel feverish anymore, " he withdraws his hand, so I grasp it, not quite prepared to be relieved of all physical contact just yet. "Do you want to do something today?" 

I sigh, wishing that we could just stay in. But since I didn't go to work today, I truly feel as if I need to practice. And I don't think I can rest any more until I have.

"I think, " I announce, "that I should get some practice time in."

He nods, understanding completely.

"I'll go with you, " he tells me.

So we both get dressed, and before long we are walking out the door.

"Did you call out of work to take care of me?" I ask, blushing incessantly as he locks his door.

"I did, " he answers truthfully, "and I've also already filled Jin in on what happened. I told him I'd bring you back home personally later tonight."

He shoves his keys into his pocket, and takes my hand in his own.

"Do you feel like walking the whole way?" He squeezes my hand. "Or do you want to catch a taxi?"

I shake my head. "No, I think it'd probably be better if we walk. If you don't mind that is."

"Sure, " he replies easily, "I don't mind."

We take off in the direction of Jimin's studio, hand in hand amidst the hustle and bustle of the streets around us. The sun is already starting to flee, leaving golden streaks in it's wake, and the air has long since begun to cool.

We walk leisurely, side by side, just talking about everything and anything. I learn that Hoseok is afraid of more than just snakes, and he tells me about his hometown and what it was like moving to America.

I tell him about my childhood, and about my hometown as well. We find common ground in our love for not only dance, but our tastes in art and cuisine as well. We even discover that we both like the same music, and that neither of us have ever gone to a school function.

It turns out, Hoseok grew up funneling all of his energy into dance. He'd not been from a particularly wealthy family. The son of a single mother, she'd often gone without in order to nurture Hoseok's talent. And though he loves his mom dearly, she hadn't been around an awful lot growing up because she was always working.

My own experience hadn't been too different in that regard.

The only difference is that, though my father worked all the time, my mother was only ever home to sleep or throw a grand gala. Either way, my parent's had never had time for me. Nor would they ever have allowed me such frivolous youthful freedoms such as prom, or homecoming.

"What do you think of us going to the movies together next weekend?" Hoseok asks suddenly, interrupting my train of thought.

"I'm open all weekend, " I reply eagerly.

"Saturday?" He supplies. "Ten o'clock?"

"Sounds like a date, " I chirp.

"I'm so happy, " he confesses, turning to face me as we stop, waiting for the cross-walk to give us the proper signal.

"Why?" I ask, breathless.

The way he's looking at me makes me feel invincible. It's as if I were suddenly strong enough to conquer everything, and I feel so euphoric and giddy. I find myself hoping that the light never leaves his eyes, because, as I watch the way they shine, I have to admit that it's a thing of beauty.

"Because, " he reveals, smiling softly, "I met you."

I nearly swoon right then and there. 

"What's so great about that?"

My ears have turned pink, same as my cheeks, and he laughs at my reaction.

"Everything, " he says.


	27. CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

I sigh, tapping my toes against the floor impatiently as I count down to Hoseok's arrival. I haven't seen him since Monday night, and I'm honestly itching to see his face. The minutes tick by, agonizingly slow, as I wait. 

Jim in and the others have long since fled by now. They waited with me at first, but my incessant sighing has annoyed them all away. 

I'm all dressed up and ready, hell, I even managed to squeeze in the time to do my makeup, and properly tame and style my curls. I was so anxious to see Hoseok, and to look pretty for him, that I started getting ready at noon.

I grossly overestimated how long it would actually take for me to get ready.

I'm almost tempted to call him, but at the same time, it's already a few minutes away from being eight. If I've learned anything about Hoseok by now, it's that he's an extremely punctual individual.

So I wait, and I push down my excitement. With any luck, I can regain some control over myself before Hoseok arrives.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Hoseok

"What are you doing here?" I demand, standing before my front door leaving it only partially cracked in the hopes that she'll simply vanish.

"Hoseok, " she sighs gently, the delicate face that I once loved scrunching up in pain caused by my calloused greeting. "Do you have to greet me like that? I just wanted to see you..."

"Well I don't want to see you, " I deadpan, slamming the door in her face.

At least I try to.

On the forefront of my mind is Avelyn, and how late I'm going to be as Jenna, my ex, slams her palm into the door to halt it's movement.

"Please don't be like this, " she wails obnoxiously. "I already apologized, I know I messed up! John and I have already broken up and I-"

I step out of my front door hastily, slamming the door shit behind me and cutting her off.

"I'm not interested, " I deadpan. "Besides which, I'm already taken."

I turn around, completely ignoring her as I lock my door and pocket my keys. 

"Hoseok, if you'll just listen to me I know that I can-"

"Absolutely not, " I refute.

I don't need to listen to her to know what she's trying to say.

"I am not interested in taking you back, and I never will be. I've already told you that I don't ever want to see you again, so I don't know why you thought things would turn out any differently, suddenly showing your face in front of me. To top it all, you're making me late. I'm taking my girlfriend to see a movie and would appreciate it if you could just leave."

She cries, amber eyes wide and panicked as she begins to cling pitifully to my shirt.

"You don't mean it, " she whimpers. "I know you don't."

"Oh, " I retort, stepping away from her despite the way she teeters for a moment, and then turning my back to walk away, "but I do."

And just like she had that night, almost a year ago when I'd begged her not to leave me for the man I know now she'd been fucking on the side, I walk away.

To be honest, I barely even give her two seconds of thought once I've managed to escape. I look back only once, and solely for the purpose of ascertaining whether or not she is following me.

The last thing I want is for Avelyn to meet her. Our relationship is still so new that it would surely cause issues, and I won't stand for it.

For a moment, I contemplate whether or not I should call Avelyn. A quick glance at my phone reveals the time to be 10:10, and I groan as I realize she's probably wondering where I am. 

But if I don't hurry, we might not catch the last showing...

I fiddle with my phone as I wait for the cross walk to turn green, and, decide that the least I can do is shoot her a quick text.

With nimble fingers I type out an explanation. 

"I'm running late, " I inform her, "but I'm on my way!"

I put my phone away, burying it safely within my pocket just as the crosswalk changes. Frantically, I cross the street, barely even bothering with my surroundings at all.

Inwardly, I curse.

"Jenna just has the best timing, " I grumble silently.

I'd be lying if I said that seeing her didn't cause me to feel a twinge of pain. But I swore some time ago that I wouldn't allow her, or our relationship, to haunt me for the rest of my days.

And truly, I'm happier lately than I've been in a long time. I really do like Avelyn. My step becomes just a little more buoyant as I think about her.

I recall how grumpy she'd been initially, and my surprise at finding a goofy and loving woman beneath. It seems as though she'd buried her heart to hide from the pain, and I didn't think I'd ever manage to progress last friend and into boyfriend.

It still makes me smile that I can now call her mine.

The streets begin to show less signs of overuse, and there is a sudden and distinct lack of massive crowds walking the side-walk. I feel invigorated, realizing that Avelyn's home is nearly just around the corner. 

Scurrying quickly, I find her door easily, having already been here at least a couple times. I knock once, twice, three times, and Avelyn answers the door before I can muster a fourth.

"What took you so long, ?" She exclaims, eyes alight with frantic worry. "Were the streets that crowded?"

I smile, completely awestruck and nearly breathless because of her appearance. She looks so beautiful, curls gently framing her face and giving off the illusion if a halo. I forget all about Jenna and her unwanted, unannounced appearance. 

"Something like that, " I tease, offering my hand to her as she steps out the door.


	28. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

~AVELYN~

I sigh, settling into my seat in relief. We'd had to run in order to make it on time, but we'd managed. Lord knows my feet are aching, no matter how completely unaffected Hoseok seems.

I swear, the man has stamina.

He turns to face me, and grabs my hand just as the lights dim. Before us, the previews begin to play and I find myself grateful that we chose to sit in the back. It was a pain in the ass getting up here, but worth it.

"You okay?" He inquires gently.

I rub the back of his hand with my thumb, smiling softly as I reply.

"I'll be alright."

A relieved smile spreads itself across his face, and I chuckle softly. 

"Can we just try to not have to do that ever again though?" I tease, referring to the mad dash we'd had to make in order to arrive on time.

"Absolutely, " he vows, "I won't be late next time, I promise."

He looks so serious, all of a sudden. Though mostly teasing, he seems to have taken my words to heart.

"He really seems to feel bad about it, " I muse. "Almost as if he expects me to be angry."

"You know, " I say, "life happens, and I get it. You can't always be on time for everything. At some point in your life, no matter how punctual you might normally be, situations will occur that you have no control over."

He fidgets awkwardly in his seat, adjusting his shirt. 

"I'm not mad, " I reveal sincerely. "Just curious. It really isn't like you to be late, so I know something must have come up. What happened?"

There's a suspicious amount of unease in the air as Hoseok stills, and as I realize that he doesn't want to tell me about it. I tamp down the pang of hurt that flashes within, remembering how Jeremy had often done the exact same thing.

My experiences tell me to proceed cautiously, not wishing to re-live the same painful memories. But my heart doesn't want to be content with that, and I find myself growing irritated by the situation at hand.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?"

"Hoseok..." I growl in warning.

He smiles, somewhat apologetic, and sighs exasperatedly.

"I didn't want to mention anything, because I didn't want you to worry without reason, " he pauses, licking his lips anxiously, and then continues, "it's not even a big deal."

"My ex came knocking on my door as I was leaving to come and get you, " he confesses, finally. "I told her that I was taken, but she tried to man-handle me."

I can feel the muscles in my face as I frown, displeased with the idea of another woman buzzing around what's mine. Every thing in me is currently hyper aware of the mistakes of the past, and I can't help but to draw parallels.

"I swear to you, " Hoseok pleads, begging me to believe him, "there is nothing between us, and never would be ever again. Even if I didn't have you."

"What did she want?" My voice is strained, and a lot more clipped than I intended.

"To be honest, I didn't even bother to hear her out, so I really don't know. I have my assumptions, of course, but that's hardly fact." 

He looks into my eyes earnestly, and I sigh.

I open my mouth to speak just as the previews end, and the movie begins. I bite my tongue, holding back from saying what I want to for the sake of not ruining the date. Hoseok, too, goes silent, though he continues to squeeze my hand steadily.

Now he is the one that rubs the back of my hand with his thumb, almost as if trying to soothe me. Though I want to be upset, and my head is screaming for me to withdraw, I can't stay mad at Hoseok. And there's a part of me, this tiny but especially loud part of me, that wants to believe Hoseok would never do the things to me that Jeremy did.

Maybe he's telling the truth.

"I don't share Hoseok, " I assert suddenly, feeling twice as prickly as I ever was before. "I'll let it go this once, but if I find out there's any one else but me, we will be less than a memory. I will cut you completely from my life."

He holds my hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss there, before smiling reassuringly.

"I promise, " he vows, "that I will never hurt you like that."

He looks at me with the gaze of a man who is completely serious, and thoroughly sincere. At this moment, as I gaze upon his face, I can find no traces of deceit. 

"I'm gonna hold you to that, " I whisper, suddenly conscientious of the amount of noise we are making as people from the front attempt to throw popcorn in our direction.

"Quiet!" One woman yells.

A multitude of murmurs ripple through the audience and I chuckle softly, holding my hand to my mouth in an attempt to stifle it. 

I turn to Hoseok once my laughter has died down, and my breath is simply stolen, spirited away by the look in his eyes. 

I think I finally understand what draws me so to Hoseok.

He looks at me as if I am precious, and his smiles are always dripping with honey-sweet affection. This one is no different in that regard. I feel treasured when I'm with Hoseok, plain and simple.

But then, something in his gaze darkens, and he mutters lowly "come here."

He pulls my arm, forcing me to stand only to directly deposit me upon his lap. I smack his chest frantically.

"Hoseok!" I whisper-yell. "Not here!"

"Relax, " he whispers against the skin of my throat. "There's no one in our row, and the four rows in front of us are empty as well."

"That's besides the point!" I attempt to get up, but Hoseok holds me firmly in place. "This isn't the time or-!"

He cuts me off, lips slamming into mine and shutting off all protest.


	29. CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

I groan into his kiss, and Hoseok responds with one of his own. His arms, which had just a moment ago held me in place so firmly, loosen, allowing his hands to roam as they please.

And as one of his hands tangles itself into my hair, and pulls my head back in favor of latching his lips against the column of my throat, I have to bite my tongue just to stay quiet. I twist in his lap, just enough to get a quick look around, and realize that nobody is paying any attention to us. We are nearly hidden, in the back corner of the room. 

Though, this apparently displeases Hoseok, because his other hand makes quick work of snaking itself up my shirt, grabbing my attention greedily. My breath is stolen away by the feel of his fingertips against my skin.

By the time he comes away, lips red and swollen from his endeavors, I can already feel the sting. 

"That's gonna leave a hickey!" I internally freak.

His eyes are hazy, clouded with lust and sinful promises as I return to my seat. Frankly, I'm surprised he lets me go, considering just how large the bulge in his jeans is right now. 

He catches me eying it as I settle into my seat, and he grins devilishly in response.

"Like what you see?" He taunts.

I blush, turning away to fan my face in desperation. Hoseok chuckles huskily, and grabs my hand, entwining it within his own once more.

We settle into silence as the movie plays on, and I realize that we haven't even missed that much of the movie. I could have sworn that the experience we'd just shared had lasted for an eternity.

I can't even say that I watch the entire movie. Halfway through, I begin to zone out. And, as we are exiting after the films end, we hear multiple people talking about some kind of plot twist.

I sigh, realizing I don't even know what the heck we just watched. I can't even recall a single detail about the damned movie, and if the blank look on Hoseok's face is anything to go by, he can't either.

"Where to now?" I inquire, heart suddenly skipping in my chest as I remember the kiss from earlier.

He smiles, almost all of the heat gone from his eyes already. I look down, hoping to sneak a peak and discover whether or not his bulge is still visible. Unfortunately, I'm not as subtle as I'd hoped and Hoseok catches on.

Our walk comes to an abrupt stop, one which finds me suddenly caged within his embrace as he hugs me from behind.

Leaning forward, he whispers into my ear, "it's still there, since you seem so curious."

I splutter indignantly, but every excuse that comes to mind simply dies before it can leave my lips. I am left in shock, not even resisting as he releases me, grabs my hand, and begins dragging us forward once more.

I just follow along behind, inwardly flipping tables.

The movie theater isn't far from Hoseok's studio apartment. I realize this as I begin to notice memorable landmarks, ones that I know I saw the last time we came to his place.

The heat in Hoseok's eyes have returned, and I feel as if I'll be burned to a crisp. I remember what I'd initially thought of Hoseok all of a sudden, and I conclude that I was right.

He is dangerous.

He's wormed his way beneath my skin with his chipper, cheerful attitude, and his genuine kindness. But all of that is deceiving. Not because it is fake, or forced, but because it hides a layer of Hoseok that I have yet to properly see. 

And now I'm curious.

As we approach his door, he fumbles excitedly with his keys. His hands seem to be shaking with the effort of getting the key into the lock, but nevertheless, he manages. 

The door swings open, and I am dragged inside by Hoseok, who then pins me with both arms against his now closed door.

"Tell me right now if you don't want to take things too far, " he nearly whimpers, voice strained and thick with lust. "Tell me, and I won't take us there yet."

I freeze, internally debating whether or not I should. Whether or not we should.

It isn't as if I don't want to. I can't help but vaguely recall my claim of wanting to die a virgin, and I nearly burst into laughter. How much has changed in so little time?

"I want to, " I tell him. "I want you. But..."

"You're scared right?" He utters knowingly. "I promise, I'll make you feel good."

"I've always heard that it's painful the first time." This time it is my turn to whimper.

"It can be, " he confesses, lifting my chin up so that he can look directly into my eyes. "But if your partner knows what he's doing, the pain should be little more than a momentary discomfort."

He releases me from the cage that is his body, instead grabbing my hand in order to lead me to his bed. Butterflies erupt in my stomach in a chaotic show of nerves as he lays me down.

He joins me with a kiss, and oh, what a kiss it is.

I become lost in the way his lips feel upon my own, and he groans as my daring hands slither up his shirt, ghosting across his skin all the way up to his nipples. Smiling into the kiss, I reach back down and tug the hem of his shirt up, hoping that he'll take the hint and reward me with the sight of his bare chest.

For once, it seems that Hoseok is the one who's breathless, and I chuckle lightly at the realization as he pulls his shirt off, before flinging it across the room with little care as to where it lands.

"What's so funny?" He demands, though his voice wavers ever so slightly, making his desire plain for me to see.

Or hear, as the case may be, for suddenly my line of vision goes dark as my eyes slam shut. A squeal of pleasure is ripped from my lips as his fingers deftly disrobe my own upper torso, popping open each button with ease and agility, and his mouth descends upon my already hardened nipple. 

"Mmph!" I shield my face with one of his pillows as he chuckles darkly.

He lifts me up, forcing me to come out from beneath the pillow so that he can dispose of my button up shirt properly. My back has barely even hit the bed once more before my skirt is suddenly gone as well.

I watch, entranced as he begins removing his own pants. I gasp and he smirks devilishly as his cock springs free from the confines of his underwear. 

"Are they all that big?" I ask, unable to believe that it will fit inside of me at all.

His gaze darkens even further, and there is a retort on the tip of his tongue. But just as he opens his mouth to release it, there is a sudden pounding on the door, and the sound of a female crying on the other side.

I grab Hoseok's covers, shielding my naked body from someone who can't even see me and feeling like a retard. I scold myself as shame and guilt begin to flood my conscious. 

"What reason do I have to feel guilty?" I seethe inwardly. "He's my boyfriend, it isn't as if he belongs to someone else."

And yet, it is with great amounts of trepidation that I watch as Hoseok angrily shoves his clothes back upon his person, neglecting his underwear entirely.

"I'll be right back, " he tells me softly, countenance far sweeter and gentle than the face I'm sure our intruder will be receiving. 

I smile, a small, uncomfortable thing that has Hoseok biting the inside of his cheek angrily even before he's reached the door.


	30. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

I can hear the sounds of arguing through the door, even from back here on the bed. Though Hoseok's voice is quiet, I can still make out the angry, clipped quality of his tone, and I wince.

"I couldn't care less, " he seethes, clearly talking to whoever it is on the other side of the door.

I'd hate to be on the receiving end of that.

I'm curious, I won't deny it, as to who is on the other side inciting such a response from my normally very sweet boyfriend. It's a female, I know at least that much. Unlike Hoseok, she absolutely refuses to remain quiet, and her wailing can probably be heard clear across the neighborhood.

"Don't you dare turn your back on me!" She screeches. "I won't let you!"

Frowning, I rush to grab my own clothes, and hastily stuff myself into them. I don't know who she thinks she is, but I am fairly certain that I know who she is now.

She must be the ex.

A thousand different images come to mind, all associated with what happens when exes start hanging around. Rage begins to fill me, and though I try to rationalize and calm down, I simply can't help it. It's too much.

First, he was late to our date because of her, and now she comes interrupting our precious time together without shame or thought for Hoseok's wishes. Didn't he tell me that he told her he didn't want to see her again? 

The moment I open the door, her voice becomes exponentially louder, and my frown increases in size. I can already feel a migraine forming, caused her voice's obnoxiously shrill pitch. Luckily, she stops speaking as I exit, if only to look at me incredulously.

"Who are you?" She demands, suddenly shifting from pathetic to combative in less than a split second. 

As if she had the right.

I didn't think I could frown any harder, but I do. Her black hair and feline features becomes increasingly hostile the longer she awaits the answer to her demanded question, and I am hit by an urge so strong to pummel her, that I can barely see straight.

"I'm the girlfriend, " I announce furiously.

I'm so angry, in fact, that I can feel the heat of it on my skin. 

"Well, this doesn't concern you, so I suggest you go home." She spits arrogantly.

I can't believe my own damn ears!

"Excuse me, " I bite back, refusing to be belittled or disrespected. Not this time. "You don't have any right to make such suggestions. Matter of fact, I suggest that you go home, since you're the one intruding here. And actually, this is my business, seeing as you are harassing my boyfriend, who is far too kind to slam the door in your trashy face like he honestly should have."

She gasps, clearly offended and ready to rip me a new one. But Hoseok grabs my arm, attempting to lead me away. 

I throw his hand, fully intent on marching back over there, and giving her a piece of my mind. 

"Just ignore her, " he says, trying to calm me and failing miserably. "The more attention you give her, the harder she'll persist."

"I don't give a fuck, " I swear, heading back regardless of his request.

"Listen up, " I command, coming to a halt before her and drawing my body up to it's full height. 

I can feel the venom crawling through my veins, the rage induced by her disrectful and indecent behaviour. It bubbles within, boiling the blood in my veins and leaving me unable to let this go.

"Just like Shelly, " I find myself thinking distastefully.

"I'll only say this once, so pay attention. If I ever, EVER, " I emphasize, "find you on our front door again, I'll call the cops for trespassing, and place a restraining order on your disrespectful ass. Let me find out that you tried to harass Hoseok one more time, and I'll make you regret it."

She stands, shocked and clearly unsure as to how to respond. This time, as Hoseok takes my hand, leading us away and back towards his front door, I let him. 

"By the way, " I declare, turning around suddenly once we have reached the door, "you have five seconds to disappear before I make good on my promise now."

I watch in satisfaction as her eyes widen, and tears threaten to pour. Even so, she stands rooted in place and by the time Hoseok slams the door shut, she is still there.

He looks at me dissaprovingly, and I immediately become defensive.

"What?" I bark angrily.

His face softens, and he pulls me into a snug embrace.

"You didn't have to be so harsh, " he tells me. I stiffen, fuming at the idea that he thinks I was too harsh.

I push him away from me, and storm off to gather my things.

"Avelyn, " he's watching me helplessly as I grab my purse.

"Don't be upset, " he pleads, "I'm all yours, I swear. Whatever it is that you're thinking isn't true, I'm not saying that she was in any way in the right either. I just don't think it was necessary for you to involve yourself..."

I bristle, and he stops his words in their track, eyes widening as he realizes exactly how it is that he sounds.

Or at least, exactly how I must be taking it.

"I didn't realize you weren't being harrassed, " I spit sarcastically, too angry now to withhold my tongue. "Since you want to speak with her alone so badly, I'll go ahead and get out of your way."

He chases after me remorsefully, trying and failing, to fix the situation. I have little care for any of his words now, as it's too late to retract the impression that I have taken from this situation.

"Avelyn!" He begs, "please just listen! Let's talk about this!"

I nearly rip the door from it's hinges in my desperation to escape, and note with extreme dissatisfaction that she is still here. Still ready eyed, she looks up as I exit, and her face splits, morphs into a smug, shit eating grin at the look upon my face.

"Disgusting, " I speak lowly.

And then, I walk away.


	31. CHAPTER THIRTY

"It's been at least a week since you've seen Hobi, " Jimin needles thoughtlessly, "maybe you should go see him. Talk it out. I don't know what he did, but I do know you've been downright impossible to live with for the last couple of days."

I huff angrily, annoyed by Jimin's persistence.

But somewhere, in the back of my mind, I have to wonder if I wasn't being unreasonable. If I'm not still being unreasonable. And yet...

My pride won't allow me to answer the phone and speak to him, though that hasn't stopped him from calling at least fifty times a day.

"You don't understand Jimin," I retort pitifully. "It isn't that simple. He sided with her!"

"Did he really though?" Jimin's voice rises steadily in pitch alongside my own. "Talk to him!"

As if on cue, my phone begins to vibrate within the confines of my pocket once more. Jimin looks about ready to murder me, or as if he were about to have a heart attack. 

Angrily, I sigh.

Accepting this call is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done, and the weight of Jimin's watchful eyes is so heavy. 

"What do you want?" I demand.

"Thank God you picked up!" Hoseok exclaims, nearly crying with relief. "I'm so sorry!"

The sound of his voice is like ice. Inch by inch, it creeps through my veins, leaving me unable to cling to the anger, the heat that I so desperately wish to. 

"No," I refute, embarrassed by my own behavior. "I was probably being unreasonable."

As Jimin leaves the room, presumably for my privacy's sake, Hoseok sighs.

"You might have been just a little unreasonable," he agrees. "But I understand why you reacted like you did."

"I'm sorry," I mumble.

Never was good at apologies.

"Don't be. To be honest, I'm happy that you were so upset, but only because we managed to fix it." 

I remain quiet, unsure as to how to respond to such a statement. 'You're welcome,' seems too distant, and 'glad to be of service,' is too chipper. Or maybe too snarky. But I'm still not in the mood to make light of anything. And, honestly, have we really fixed anything?

"Avelyn?" Hoseok edges, and I sigh in frustration.

"I don't know what you want me to say Hoseok," I reveal, apparently still quite peeved despite how defeated I felt only a moment ago. "I'm still upset. I'm trying not to be, and I'm trying not to assume anything. But at the same time, I can't help it."

"You know what," Hoseok replies, "it just shows me that you care for me. If your ex suddenly started hanging around I'd probably be pretty upset too. But, I need you to know that I've got eyes for you and you alone."

Releasing the last bit of my frustration with one final sigh, I decide to let it go.

"I meant it Hoseok, what I told you at the theater. I don't share."

"Nor would I ever expect you to," he answers.

"Dare I ask if she's come back at all since I left?"

I bite the inside of my cheek, anxious for him to tell me that he got rid of her for good, and at the same time feeling an awful lot like an ass. 

"She hasn't yet, but..." he trails off, and I have never waited so impatiently for the end to a sentence in my life. "Maybe we should talk in person."

"I swear to God Hoseok, if you tell me she's pregnant I swear I am out!" I snarl, already assuming the worst, and completely forgetting all about my decision to let it go.

"No!" He rushes anxiously, attempting to pacify me immediately. "It's not like that. I promise, it isn't even about her, at least, not directly."

The wheels in my head begin turning, and I have to wonder just what it is that has Hoseok so nervous. Furthermore, I'm beginning to suspect that I'm going to see far more of the ex than I really want to.

Hoseok's behavior strikes me as odd. Almost as if he doesn't want to let go of his ex. I try to push away the doubts that are plaguing me, but this whole situation is just...

"I'm sorry."

My throat is suddenly dry, and for a moment I nearly panic as tears begin to leak from my eyes. I don't even know what's wrong with me.

I want to forgive Hoseok, move forward and let this go. But at the same time, every time I think about her face I want to punch something, despite not being violently inclined.

In my minds eye I can still see her stupid perfect hair, and her flawlesa makeup, and I want to scream. 

"Just like Shelly Ferguson all over again," my brain keeps playing on repeat. "A prettier female starts hanging around, and before you know it, you're being dumped."

So what's the point?

"I think it might be better if we don't see each other for a while," I announce.

Hoseok's voice is panicked, upset as he rejects my decision.

"Absolutely not," he says. "I won't leave you alone Avelyn, you mean far too much to me for me to sit here and agree to break up."

"I never said we should break up," I retort. "But I need a break. Space. Time to think. Take your pick."

"I know what comes after that Avelyn and I can't accept it. We can work this out, please, just don't shut me out."

"Don't call me for a while," I demand, ignoring his pleas for me to just listen as I disconnect from the call.

I allow my knees to collapse, landing on my bed with a loud 'thump'. Almost immediately, my phone rings once more. This time, rather than answer the call, I throw the damned thing across the room with an agitated shout.

I feel no satisfaction from watching the thing shatter upon impact with the wall and then the floor. Rather, I just feel more irritated than I already was.

Am I really making a mountain out of a molehill? 

It seems like it, and I feel guilty for putting Hoseok through this so early in our relationship. But at the same time, another piece of me is scared and defensive.

"He's the one with the ex who won't go away," I reason with myself. 

And perhaps he is right. Perhaps I was too harsh on her, especially given that I don't even know the woman. But what I do know, is that Hoseok was clearly not harsh enough, because she keeps coming back.


	32. CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

"So let me get this straight," Jin says, looking up from the newspaper he has spread open before him at the breakfast table. "Hoseok said you were being too harsh to his ex, and you flipped?"

"More or less," I reply.

We are seated around the dining room table, waiting for the others to finish getting dressed so that we can eat. Even if it is a Friday morning, it feels like a Monday, and I rub my eyes wearily.

I fidget beneath Jin's attention, waiting for his response. I'd asked him for advice this morning, having not slept the entire night over the situation at hand.

"There's more, " I reveal hesitantly, "he said something about her father, but I refused to listen."

"That's kind of silly, don't you think?"

I frown, but ultimately can't argue with him.

"Don't give me that face, you know I'm right." He scolds.

"And how exactly is it silly?" I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to keep myself from losing my temper and saying something that I might regret.

I know that Jin is right, even if I don't want to admit it to myself, but that doesn't make it any easier to hear.

"Well, " Jin begins, "it seems to me that Hoseok really likes you, and he doesn't strike me as the kind of person to betray you like that. But, by shutting him out and alienating him, you are basically handing him over to her. If you like Hoseok, and I know that you do, shouldn't you fight your hardest to keep him before giving up like this?"

I start, mouth hanging open as I attempt to reply, but no words come forth because my brain has drawn an absolute blank.

"Why, " I finally manage, "would I want to fight for someone who's going to turn around and cheat on me?"

Seokjin fixes me with a leveling gaze, compassionate eyes soft, and yet firm in their conviction.

"Do you really think he's the type to cheat?" He questions, voice soft and cautious.

But there is nothing soft about such a question, and I grimace.

"No, " I reveal, face falling as I admit it.

"Then why make this so complicated and messy?"

"I'm scared Jin." I confess.

"And what are you so scared of?" He asks, folding his hand over mine in a show of support.

"I don't want to be hurt again, " I murmur lowly, almost as if afraid to truly utter it aloud. 

Seokjin, who always seems to have all the answers, and always knows just what to say, is speechless. I don't know if it's because he doesn't know what to say, or because he doesn't think there is anything he can say. And as he pulls me into a supportive hug, I admit to myself that I also don't know which is worse.

Suddenly, from the doorway sounds a ruckus. First we hear the sound of someone banging desperately upon the door, and then, the sound of voices locked in a heated argument.

"Please Jimin, I need to see her!" 

"I'm sorry Hoseok, but I can't force Avelyn to talk to you, " Jimin replies. "I think it would be best if you leave for now, Avelyn will talk to you when she's ready."

Something wet trails down my cheek, and it is with a shaking hand that I wipe it away. I laugh bitterly, realizing that I am crying at just the sound of his voice.

But is it because I don't want to see him, because I am hurt and angry, or because I want to see him so badly in this moment that I feel pity for my future self?

"You can't-" Jimin is cut off as the door slams shut. "Hey! You can't just walk in here!"

But it seems as if Hoseok is no longer paying Jimin any attention. I can hear him calling my name.

"Avelyn!" He shouts, "please, let's talk about this!"

I sigh, realizing that if he is this tenacious about it, I won't receive any peace until I have catered to his request. 

"Do you want me to make him go away?" Jin asks, genuine empathy on his face.

But I shake my head.

"No, " I tell him, "I'll talk to him."

No sooner had the words left my mouth than Hoseok is suddenly before us, having busted into the dining room, chest heaving and eyes panicked.

My own eyes widen in alarm as he grabs my wrist, yanks me up from my seat, and drags me from the dining room like a ragdoll. Despite Jimin's earlier words, he makes no move to stop Hoseok as he drags me out the front door, but to be fair, it isn't as if I am particularly struggling either.

At least, not until he's already dragged me a few blocks away.

Across the street the corner shop stands, several people coming and going, most leaving with cups of piping hot coffee or a brown paper bag. 

"How far do you intend to drag me?" I demand angrily, snatching my wrist away from him as he slows to a stop.

"Avelyn, " he meekly murmurs, eyes shining with regret and sadness.

"I asked you a question."

Hoseok sighs, brows suddenly knitting themselves into a tight line.

"There is something I want to show you, " he replies.

His fingers reach out hesitantly for mine, stopping in the air for a moment before pulling away entirely. Every instinct I have tells me that I should turn around and walk away, so why is it that my heart hurts so much? Why is it that my heart tells me to trust him? And which should I listen to?

I nod slightly, a barely perceptible tilt of my head in acquiescence.

"I'll follow you, " I announce. 

He holds one hand out hopefully, silently asking me to hold his hand. But I refuse.

"I'd rather not touch you right now, " I bite the inside if my cheek, silently berating myself for being so cold right now.

Why can't I seem to control my own damned tongue?

I didn't think that Hoseok's face could fall any farther, and I wince as hurt flashes in his eyes, and his hands ball into painfully rigid fists at his side.


	33. CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

"Why did you bring me here?" I ask, looking around at all the white walls and the crowded lobby.

He has dragged me all the way to the hospital, and I have never been more confused in my life. I find it hard to hide my discomfort, I've never liked hospitals.

Maybe it's something about the way it smells, like disinfectant and despair, or maybe it's how they always look and feel cold and unwelcoming. 

Hoseok takes my hand, ignoring the way that I flinch away from his touch, and holding my hand even more tightly as I struggle to release myself from his intimate grip. He leads me to the front desk, where he chats for a short time with the nurse, though I pay little attention to what they are saying.

Before long, he is leading me down a sterile hall, and we stop before a door labeled as number fifteen. He pauses, face drawn into a pained and hopeless kind of look as his free hand rests hesitantly upon the doorknob.

I watch, curious, as he takes a deep breath as if feeling himself for what lies just beyond the threshold.

Upon entrance we are greeted by a sight so heartbreaking, that for a moment I forget I was ever mad at Hoseok. Connected to a plethora of tubes and varying other machinery is an elderly man. Frail and weary looking, he eyes Hoseok brightly, welcoming him with open arms that Hoseok does not hesitate to rush into.

"Hoseok my boy!" He greets, smiling cheerfully as he holds the younger man tightly. 

There are tears in both sets of eyes, and I feel as if I am intruding upon a terribly private moment.

"Who's your friend?" The man asks as he releases Hoseok and gestures in my direction.

"This is my girlfriend, Avelyn." He replies.

Though Hoseok is smiling I can tell that he is hurting, and that he only does so for this strangers' benefit. Though, to Hoseok it seems as if this man is no stranger at all.

"Let me get a good look at you child, " the man commands kindly, addressing me.

I step forward hesitantly, and the old man tuts softly.

"Come now girl, " he admonishes in a fatherly manner, "I promise I won't bite."

Hoseok sends me an encouraging look, so I approach.

"Well, you've certainly found yourself a beauty, my boy. " 

I blush under his appraisal, and he chuckles lightly for a moment.

But then, the light in his eyes fades ever so slightly, and the air around us gains such a serious feel that I feel a strong urge to wait outside.

"Is my daughter still pestering you?" He asks, turning his full attention to Hoseok, who nods his head hesitantly. 

Internally, I begin to panic.

I don't want to be here, and I don't want to see this. This is such an incredibly awkward situation for me, and I suddenly remember the reason that I was angry at Hoseok.

Why I am angry with Hoseok.

"I'm going to wait outside, " I announce, cutting into the moment for a brief second. 

Hoseok looks as if he wants to stop me, but I don't leave him with much of any kind if choice considering that I am already out the door.

It feels as if an eternity passes with me leaning against the wall just outside, waiting for Hoseok to finish his business so that I can hear what it is he has to say, and go home. By the time he finally exits, looking exhausted and with puffy, reddened eyes, I have grown so hungry that I could eat an entire horse.

I find myself grateful that today is a minor holiday, because it means I have the day off, and for Hoseok's suggestion that perhaps, we should talk over some food.

He takes me to a small, nearby diner, and at first, the only thing between us is silence as we await the waitress so that we may order our food. And even after she's come, and gone, and returned once more, food in hand, we are still silent.

It seems as if Hoseok isn't sure how to start, and I am far too upset to initiate the conversation. I'm aware that it's petty, and juvenile, but I couldn't be assed to care less in this moment.

"That man is the only father figure I've ever known, " he reveals quietly, finally initiating the conversation that he'd dragged me out to have in the first place.

I soften, just a bit, realizing how hard it must be for him right now.

"Hoseok, " I reply, trying hard to keep the anger and bitterness from my voice as this bit of information sinks in. "I'm sorry. This must be painful for you."

He smiles bitterly, eyes squeezing shut to stop the sudden onslaught of tears. My heart sinks into my stomach, but I continue regardless.

"I feel for you, but this has nothing to do with the situation between us." I pause, searching for the right words, the right thing to say in this situation without hurting Hoseok, who's already in enough pain.

I'm a lot of things, but heartless is not one of them.

"All I want to hear is why you won't send her away."

He looks down, wiping his hands back and forth against his denim-clad knee beneath the table anxiously. 

"It's not that I won't, " he says, eyes still downcast. Whether from fear or shame, I can't tell. "I have tried. But I also..."

My stomach sinks, and I prepare myself to end this relationship right here, and right now.

"You still love her, " I answer for him, but he is quick to refute.

"No, it's not that." 

Finally, he looks up, and in his eyes is the kind of pain that one can never erase.

"The night that she ended things with me for good, the night she walked away from me, she took with her something that became precious. To the both of us. Or it would have been, if not for me." He stops, stirring his water aimlessly with his straw. "She was pregnant, you see, and it was my kid."


	34. CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

I stiffen immediately, appetite entirely lost after hearing his confession.

"It's worse than I thought, " I realize, pain exploding within my chest as I fight back tears. "They have a kid together."

I suppose that Hoseok must recognize the look upon my face, for he quickly continues.

"The child is dead, " he reveals. "She lost it only weeks before her due date, and the fault was mine."

Of all the things I expected Hoseok to say, this was not it. Guilt begins to churn in my gut. For not letting him explain earlier, for shutting him out when he probably needed me the most...

I feel like an ass.

"Hoseok, " I soothe, or attempt to at any rate, "I'm sure that's not true. How could it have been your fault?"

He laughs bitterly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and I am filled with such a heavy, sorrowful feeling at the sight of my sunshine's light so thoroughly dimmed.

"I pushed her, " he confesses. "We got into an argument one night. I'd already long since given up any ideas of being with her, but it didn't matter. I was honestly so excited to be a father, and wanted to be there when she gave birth. I didn't want to have to wait to meet my child. She wanted the man who used to be my best friend there instead, you know, the one she'd been fucking behind my back all that time. The one she left me for."

My heart breaks for him, seeing him so torn up and in anguish. I almost wish he would just stop there, I'm not sure that I really want to hear the rest of this story. And yet, I also can't bring myself to stop him, just as it seems that Hoseok can't seem to bring himself to stop.

"I was so angry, and hurt. That child was my child. Why should he be there? I felt so wronged. So I picked a fight, punched him straight in the face, and he punched back. One thing led to another, and before I even realized what was happened she stepped in and I tried to push her out of the way."

Hoseok, no longer able to contain himself, begins to cry openly, fat tears rolling down his cheek as he brokenly whimpers to me, "I swear, I didn't mean to hurt her. And I didn't mean to hurt the baby, I was so angry that I didn't even really see her."

I stand, abandoning my food and my side of the table in order to slide into the booth next to him so that I can wrap my arms around him, shielding his distraught face from several who look our way.

"Hoseok, " I say gently, all anger gone and replaced instead with a deep, dark sadness on his behalf. "Why didn't you tell me this before? Why did you keep hesitating, if you'd told me I would have understood."

"I was afraid of what you would think if me, " he confesses, clinging to my shirt like a lifeline.

"I think that you have been misled, or that nobody has bothered to clear the air for you, " I reply. "Unless she fell down a flight of stairs or got stabbed in the stomach with something sharp, it's highly doubtful that you pushing her aside is what caused the baby to die. Babies are a lot sturdier than you think."

He shakes his head, and I feel wetness spreading further across my shirt.

"I pushed her, and her back hit the wall hard enough to knock the air out of her. It was my fault."

"Did you go to the doctor with her in the end? Did the doctor tell you that?"

Again, he shakes his head.

"No, " he says, but the next part is what confirms my suspicions entirely. "She only told me after she was released from the hospital."

I grab his shoulders, pushing him away only slightly so that I can look him in the eyes.

"I'm telling you Hoseok, it wasn't your fault. How do you know the baby wasn't already dead? It happens sometimes. Occasionally, though the baby is already dead it remains. Or maybe it was just shit luck, maybe it was even her fault. But I promise you, it wasn't your fault."

His eyes widen, and I see a glimmer of something akin to hope in those eyes. 

"How do you know so much about babies and pregnancy?" He asks softly, clearly wanting to believe me but unable to let the guilt go so easily.

I frown, remembering one if the most traumatic experiences of my childhood.

"When I was ten, " I reveal, "my mother became pregnant with what would have been my little brother. I still remember how ecstatic my mom was, and how proud my dad was. He'd always wanted a son to take over the family business. And I will never forget how devasted they were when my little brother was still-born. He'd died sometime between her last check-up and her due date, and we didn't discover it until she gave birth three weeks late. My mother blamed herself, and I think she still does to this day, but the doctor told her that it wasn't her fault at all. Sometimes, bad things just happen."

I can see it in his eyes, he still doesn't quite believe me.

Regardless, he dries his eyes, and fixes me with a pathetic smile, one that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"Are we..." He queries hopefully, "are we okay now?"

I still, and his face falls as he takes in my demeanor. I gaze upon him sadly, wishing that this changed how I felt but it doesn't. While I understand now, and though I'm no longer angry, I am now filled with sadness instead.

His guilt won't allow him to do what obviously needs to be done in order for him to be free of her, and that means that I will never be free of her either, nor would I ever be able to escape the doubt that would haunt me should we continue the way this has been.

And nothing I say to her will change anything so long as Hoseok remains guilt-ridden, the knowledge of this breaks my heart once again, this time into a thousand little pieces that I'm not sure I can put back together again.

"I'm sorry, " I reply finally, "I don't want to let you go. I wish things were different, and I want to be here for you, but I think it's better if I do so as your friend, and not your girlfriend."

I can't take the look in his eyes, such pain and defeat.

It feels as if I've been shot.


	35. CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

I stand, fleeing from that look before I change my mind. Even if I try to explain to him that it is as much for his benefit as it is mine, he wouldn't understand. He wouldn't accept it. I don't want to think about the ways I might hurt him if we remain together, but I know that I eventually would.

I'd never be able to feel as if he is completely mine, and I know only too well the kind of bitterness and resentment that feeling creates.

My eyes begin to leak, blurring my vision, and so, I stumble. Grabbing at my chest, I attempt to breathe, to calm myself as I lean against the wall of the building beside me. But it proves impossible to calm myself, the tears only begin to flow more freely as I hear Hoseok's voice shouting my name from behind.

"Avelyn!" He yells, "Avelyn!"

I push off against the wall, teetering for a moment before I find my balance. But I am too late, there is no escape as Hoseok has already found me, and I am alarmed to find myself suddenly caged against the wall by his arms.

He kisses me, roughly, and though I initially struggle against him I am ultimately helpless but to reciprocate. His tongue tastes like fire and sweetness, salt and addiction, and it is a feeling that I cannot resist.

And when he pulls back, I am left confused, dazed by the sudden absence of his lips against mine.

"Take it back, " he demands desperately, frantically. "Tell me that you are still mine."

I turn my head to the side, suddenly finding my senses and refusing to answer him because I simply can't. I can't tell him what he wants to hear, but I also don't have the strength to reiterate what I have already said.

"Why not?" He asks, eyes molten and mercurial. 

He leans against me, arms held out and resting firmly against the wall behind me still to stop me from leaving. With only one look, I am drowning in his eyes, and all of the emotion portrayed within. In all this time, I've never seen Hoseok like this.

Lips parted and kiss-swollen, even as the mercury from within his irises bleeds upon his cheek. Each drop that slides down his cheek leaves a crystalline river in it's wake.

This face, it's so hard to take. 

I've grown so accustomed to his easy going smile, and chipper personality. But now, there is a definite fire behind his eyes. I am powerless, left with only a shred of sanity, courtesy of the guilt that rises within my gut like the bile that it is.

"Why not give this a chance?" He rasps. 

His voice holds all the sadness and anger that he is feeling, and the pressure of it leaves him nearly mute. But then, as he continues to speak, his voice becomes louder, harsher, and the strain of it breaks the entire dam.

"We'd be good for each other, " he chokes. "You know that I'd be good to you. I could make you happy."

I stiffen, suddenly wishing that I were anywhere but here. There are so many things that I'm not ready to say, too many things to regret if things go sour.

"I've already wasted all of my love on someone else, " I whisper, half defiant and half-ironic sorrow.

"There's no such thing as wasted love, " he growls.

He crushes his lips upon mine once more, grabbing my arms when I attempt to push him away. His hands push my wrists into the wall forcefully as he groans into the kiss and I whine noisily.

He takes full advantage of the opportunity to advance, prying my lips open further with a sigh siphoned with skilled fingers against heated flesh.

My chest, rising and falling frantically with a lack of air, feels heavy and tight. The adrenaline that crashes through me, filling my every sense like a flood, makes me feel dizzy. And this time, when we separate, I am quicker to recover my senses.

"Let me go, " I demand softly.

I don't wish to hurt Hoseok anymore than I already have.

"I can't lose you, " he pleads, "I love you."

I gasp, and tears begin to swim before my vision more adamantly now. 

"I love you too, " I confess, surprising myself as much as Hoseok, "but that changes nothing."

He drops his hands, and staggers back as if I've physically wounded him. Hand on his heart, he looks at me with such agony that my breath refuses to come.

"What can I do? What can I do to make you stay?" He begs, voice raspy and strained beneath the weight of his tears. "Tell me what I should do Avelyn! How can I change your mind?"

"Prove, without a shadow of a sound that you are mine, that you will not betray me, and I could not resist you." I confess despite myself.

I don't wish to give Hoseok hope, nor do I want to needlessly hurt him. Truthfully, I don't want to let him go at all. But that ex of his is far more toxic than I initially believed, and our relationship is already doomed to fail as long as she hangs about. Not to mention, everytime I am forced to see her from now on I am going to have to fight the urge to punch her right in her perfect fucking teeth.

She convinced Hoseok that the loss of their baby was his fault, and she stubbornly refuses to let him go.

"As long as your guilt remains, so will she, " I mutter quietly, painfully. "And it's just more than I can take."

He reaches for me, but I am the quicker one this time. Tears continue to burn my eyes and blur my vision, even though I am the one making this decision I do not delight in it. Walking away has never been so hard, nor did I ever feel such pain as the one currently blooming within.

"Avelyn!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're reaching the climax here guys~!
> 
> Pretty soon it'll be the end of Wasted Love. I will upload more of my completed works with time, but until then, I hope you've enjoyed this book!


	36. CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

"Avelyn, " Jimin softly sighs, stroking my hair gently as I cry for what must be the thousandth time today alone. "Shh, it's gonna be okay."

"You're a lot of things Park Jimin, but a liar is none of them." I sniffle.

It's been a rough weekend.

Hoseok has come by several times, refusing to leave unless I speak with him. Jeonguk had only just finally carried him away a few hours ago, and I find that I have no appetite.

I have holed myself up in my bedroom, and though the others have steered clear, opting to give me space and time, Jimin refuses to leave me alone.

"I'm sorry Avelyn, " he tells me weakly, "I should never have pushed you so hard to give him a chance."

"No, " I sniffle, grabbing his hand, "it's not your fault. You were just doing what you thought was best for me."

Jimin looks as if he wants to argue, but bites his tongue instead.

We sit there, in the silent bleakness of my dark bedroom, neither of us with anything to say. All of my words are trapped within by mind, unable to free themselves due to the painful tangle that my heart is in. And I'm sure that Jimin knows there isn't anything he can say to make things better.

But I am grateful for his presence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~HOSEOK'S POV~

I shudder, enjoying the way the alcohol burns as it slides down my throat and into my stomach. It distracts me from the pain that I feel in my heart, though it doesn't take the pain away.

Nothing could take the pain away.

When was it exactly that I fell for Avelyn? When did my feelings of like and curiosity shift and become something more? 

"Hey handsome, are you here alone tonight?"

Suddenly, on the stool beside me is a woman, a rather attractive one at that. But she is not Avelyn, and as such, I completely ignore her.

"I'm talking to you, " she huffs annoyingly, but then her voice shifts to honey once more as she suggestively asks, "wanna get out of here?"

"Not with you, " I slur bluntly, taking yet another swig of the beverage before me.

Whiskey, on the rocks.

I pay no mind to the woman as she leaves, clearly offended. Let her be offended. In this world, there is no one for me but Avelyn.

Too bad that it's hopeless.

I don't know if I can summon the courage to face the accusations that Jenna will throw at me, no matter how much my heart aches to be with Avelyn.

"I have always been a coward, " I berate myself silently. "So what? You're just gonna give up, and let Avelyn go?"

Everything in me rages against the thought. 

Like the masochist that I am, my brain suddenly summons images of her, moving on, loving someone else. Someone that is not me. The thought of someone else kissing those lips, someone else holding her hand and walking through life at her side...

Without realizing it I have crushed the glass in my hand, having squeezed it so hard that it shattered beneath my fingers.

"Hoseok!" Sofia exclaims, abandoning the tall gentleman she'd been flirting with to rush over to me, towel in hand.

She pulls from below a first aid kit, and sets about disinfecting and bandaging my hand as she scolds me.

"I think you've had enough to drink, what's got you in such a mess anyway? Where's your girlfriend?"

I laugh bitterly, and throw my head down upon the bar, not even caring that there is now whiskey all over my clothes, my face, my hair even.

"She left me, " I mumble pitifully, "and she was right to."

"That doesn't sound like the Hoseok I know. Weren't you two only dating for a short time anyway?" She pauses, eyes going wide as saucers as she realizes the source of my pain. "Oh my God, you fell in love with her!"

Again, I can only chuckle sadly, self-deprecating in my response. 

"What the fuck are you doing here then?" She questions angrily, "you should be out there convincing her to take you back! Come on! I saw the way she looked at you!"

"Do you know how to speak in any volume aside from loud?" I whine, lifting my head from the bar in order to look at her.

She ignores my complaint, and fixes me with a glare.

"I mean it Hoseok, " she deadpans, completely serious when all I want her to do is drop it. "Aren't you even gonna try to change her mind?"

"What do you fucking know?" I roar, suddenly angry. Hot tears run down my face, a result of her probing, and I nearly scream, "I did try! She wants something from me that I can't do!"

From across the bar, despite her lack if height, she reaches across and slaps me full on in the face.

"Don't ever scream at me like that again, " she demands, "and for the love of God, pull yourself together."

Her eyes soften then, and she looks at me with pity.

"What is it that she wants?" She asks, and I sigh, realizing that she isn't going to drop it.

"She wants me to make Jenna stop coming around, " I reveal somberly. "And you know why that's so hard for me."

"Hoseok..." She sighs.

But something in her eyes tells me that she knows something I don't, and not for the first time I have to wonder why.

"What happened really wasn't your fault, " she says slowly.

"Save it, " I bark, "Avelyn already said the same thing, and even that didn't help."

"You told her?" She asks, clearly astonished.

But then, something akin to determination fills her eyes.

"I know for a matter of a fact that what happened to your child was not your fault, " my heart thugs painfully in my chest as she continues to reveal the truth. "Jenna was doing drugs, Hoseok. Drinking it up, and living as if she wasn't pregnant at all. I was there with her when she went to the hospital, the doctor sited these as the reasons the baby died, and even told her that had the baby been born at all, she wouldn't have been allowed to keep it. They found just about every illegal substance known to man in her system."

"I... What?" Suddenly, I feel as if I am sober, and while there is a great weight listen from my shoulders, I am now filled with anger the likes of which I have never experienced before.

"I think that you need to go and see Jenna, now." She tells me.

And this time, I don't disagree.


	37. CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

~HOSEOK'S POV~

"Jenna!" I scream, pounding on her apartment door angrily. "Open the door!"

"Hoseok?" She asks, rubbing her eyes wearily as the door creaks open.

The neon lights cast their glow upon her hair and face, red, the color of evil, just like her soul. I blanch in disgust, what did I ever see in such a woman?

I shove her to the side, ignoring her indignant protests as I force my way past her and into her apartment. This conversation is not for prying eyes or listening ears.

I notice with revulsion that there are two different men in her bed, each snoring peacefully. I yank the covers away, kicking them from the bed without care for how much of an ass I am being in this moment.

"Get out, " I snarl, and though they appear angry as they pick themselves off the floor, they comply nonetheless.

Jenna's already turned on the waterworks, I notice, and I honestly couldn't care less in this moment. The look on her face tells me that she knows I am not here for anything that she wants. Her eyes refuse to meet mine, and I realize that she is fully aware.

She knows exactly what this is about.

"Sofia told you then?" She asks nervously, facing the floor, refusing to look me in the eye.

"Look at me!" I bellow, anger leaving no room for sympathy or caution. "Look me in the eyes while I tell you what a piece of fucking scum you are! How could you? It was all your fault! What the fuck were you thinking?"

I pace back and forth as she shivers, tears and fear filling her eyes in equal measure. I laugh darkly, amused by her act.

"You can stop playing the meek victim any time now, you know that I am not the type to raise my hand against a woman, and I already know how little you cared for Jay. You killed my son, then lied to me, told me it was my fault!"

"You pushed me before, " she whimpers, eyes wide as I rush at her as a result.

"That's a lie too, and you know it. You're the one who stepped between me and him, the fault was yours."

"Hoseok, I-" 

"Save it, " I growl, threateningly. "I don't fucking want to hear it. You stay away from me, or I swear to God you will regret it. I feel no sympathy for you."

I turn around, every intention of leaving, but then, an idea hits me.

This doesn't have to be the end for Avelyn and I after all. I remember her words, and realize that I know exactly what to do.

I rush from Jenna's apartment, and for the first time in forever, she doesn't attempt to chase me or yell me down. Not that it would matter even if she did. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~AVELYN'S POV~

Monday morning sunlight filters through my window, waking me against my will. I'm surprised I even managed to fall asleep as distraught as I was last night.

Jimin sits beside me in my armchair, fast asleep in a position that can't be comfortable. The sight makes me want to smile, but I'm afraid that I've lost the ability to do so.

For good this time.

Curling into a ball on my side, I sigh. I don't feel like going anywhere today, and I don't think I'd be able to push things out of my mind enough to be any good at work today either. Luckily, I'd already messaged my troupe last night, and they'd been entirely understanding. 

From downstairs I can hear the sounds of Seokjin shuffling around in the kitchen, but I don't hear any of the others, so I realize that it must still be early.

But then, the sound of someone pounding against the door startles me, and scares Jimin awake. My heart sinks, realizing it must be Hoseok.

Who else would be pounding at our door so desperately this early in the morning?

"Do you want me to send him away?" Jimin asks, eyes on fire and yet entirely sympathetic.

But I shake my head.

I did say that I wanted us to be friends, and although it's painful, and I'm not sure that I'm ready, I am also tired of running and hiding from him.

I take the stairs slowly, dread filling me as I grow ever closer to the door. I can hear Jin softly humming along to the radio in the kitchen, and it dawns on me that he probably didn't even hear the door at all.

And as I reach the door, I pause, hesitating for a moment. But then, he begins pounding once more, and I attempt to steel myself for this confrontation.

"I will not cry, " I promise myself as I open the door.

Hoseok's face is as haggard as my own, but to my surprise, he doesn't attempt to speak to me. Rather, once more he grabs my wrist, and begins dragging me away.

"Hey!" I shout, yanking my wrist away despite his iron grip, and Hoseok turns to me with a pleading look upon his face.

"Please, " he implores desperately, "please just trust me."

I shut my mouth, and allow him to lead me once more despite my better judgement. Past rows and rows of houses we walk, past the corner store, and the theater, until I no longer recognize my surroundings. 

It is only once the courthouse, large and imposing in the distance, comes into view that I realize where I am and what's going on.

"Hoseok, " I sniffle, tears suddenly springing to my eyes as I stop, looking at him hopefully, praying that he is taking me to do what I think he is.

"You were right, " he informs me, eyes boring holes into mine. "It wasn't my fault. And it wasn't fair to you that I wouldn't do this before, but I'm ready now."

I smile, the first in days, even as tears of happiness and relief pour down my face like so much rain.

"Let's go and put in a restraining order, " he says.

"Let's, " I agree, wiping the tears from my face as, once more, I allow him to take my hand in his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the very last chapter, minus the epilogue. I hope that you've enjoyed this book up until now, even if it's one of more older and more unpolished works. I'll continue trying to grow as a writer, and get better. So just hang in there and watch me grow!


	38. EPILOGUE

"Hey! Avelyn! When is Hoseok supposed to be home?" Jimin whines.

Tonight, the boys are having a guys night out, with my blessing of course. Granted, that's only because tonight is a special occasion and one worth celebrating.

Jimin is getting married.

Honestly, three years ago when Hoseok first came into our lives, if you'd told me that this day would come, I'd probably have died laughing. And although I'm happy for him, I wish he would stop pestering me with questions about when Hoseok and I are going to be doing the same.

"He said he had an errand to run, " Jin chips in, straightening his tie in the hallway mirror as he speaks. "He should be here any minute."

Jimin looks so excited for a moment that I'm afraid he might literally implode, but then a comical look of confusion crosses his face as he takes into account what Jin is wearing.

"Hey, just wondering, but why are you so...overdressed?" Jimin asks, taking in Seokjin's suit and tie curiously.

"Kim Seokjin doesn't overdress, " he retorts sassily, finally turning from the mirror in order to look directly at Jimin.

"Kim Seokjin shouldn't speak about himself in third person, " Jeonguk shouts from up the stairs, and then, we all hear a snicker and the sound of a door slamming as he flees from Jin's imminent wrath.

"Yah! You brat! Come down here and say that to my face!" Jin hollers, but to no avail.

"I still can't believe Jimin gets to get married before I do, " he mutters just beneath his breath, turning back to the mirror and his reflection within.

Jimin simply shrugs his shoulders, and then bounds upstairs to check on the rest of the boys. 

"Have you talked to your parents recently?" Jin asks me, eyes still glued to his reflection as he now messes with his hair, attempting to get it to fall in just the right way.

"Yeah, " I sigh.

"How'd it go?" 

"Not so well, " I reply. "They're still angry that I stayed, that I didn't hold up my end of the bargain."

"It's your life though, and your parents had no respect for that." Jin returns, turning around to face me, finally satisfied with his own reflection. 

He walks to me, wraps his arms around me in an almost motherly embrace, and continues.

"Don't worry, " he says. "They're still your parents. Someday they'll understand."

"I hope so, " I sigh, returning Jin's hug so easily that you'd be hard pressed to believe there was ever a time that I wouldn't hug anyone.

"Hey, watch the hands Jin. That's my girl." Hoseok suddenly says, announcing his entrance and startling the both of us.

He holds his hand out to me and I abandon Seokjin's warm embrace for the embrace of my boyfriend.

"It seems you've forgotten, " Jin retorts, "but I already have a girlfriend. In fact, I've had one for far longer than all of you."

"Alright, alright, " Hoseok pacifies, smiling brightly as he releases me, taking my hand instead. "You know I was just teasing."

Jin sticks his tongue out at Hoseok, and I laugh heartily, filled with so much love that I can barely contain it all.

"Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds be for the moment, " Jin announces, heading towards the stairs, presumably to ensure that Jimin doesn't murder Yoongi. Or maybe the other way around. 

Hoseok and I watch as he bounds up the stairs and out of sight.

"Do I really have to go?" He asks, eyes pleading with me to tell him that he can stay. "If I stay home, we could have the whole house to ourselves..."

I laugh as he waggles his eyebrows at me suggestively. 

"Twice this morning wasn't enough for you?" I laugh, smacking him playfully on the arm as he pulls me closer.

"Baby, with you, it's never enough."

I blush, attempting to hide my face away in embarrassment. But this doesn't suit Hoseok, who lifts me chin with one hand so that he can look directly into my eyes.

"I love you Avelyn, " he whispers softly, eyes filled with so much emotion that even today, three years later, I still feel butterflies. 

His lips hover just inches above my own, and I can feel the warmth of his breath as it fans across my lips, spreading to my cheeks and leaving behind a tell-tale rouge.

"I love you too, " I sigh dreamily.

And as his lips descend upon mine for what must be the thousandth time by now, I am filled with contentment, joy, and the hope for many more kisses to come.


End file.
